GRAND RAPIDS: UTTERLY UNREMARKABLE.

Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Mediocrity

Let’s not beat around the bush: Grand Rapids is currently experiencing what can only be described as offensively average weather. As of this morning, we’re wallowing in a 60-degree swamp of humidity – 84%, for those keeping score at home, which is everyone with a functioning weather app. And surprise, surprise, it’s raining. Not a charming, cleansing rain, mind you. Just a dreary, persistent drizzle accompanying a thunderstorm that lacks any real dramatic flair.

The wind, naturally, is attempting to add insult to injury, gusting up to 25 mph. It's less a bracing wind and more a pathetic attempt to disrupt your already miserable commute. Visibility is a generous 8 miles, meaning you can almost pretend you're not existing in a grey, damp void.

The forecast? Predictably bleak. A 50% chance of more of the same today, sinking to a low of 46 degrees. Then, because apparently the weather gods are feeling particularly cruel, a 100% chance of continued showers and thunderstorms tonight. Yes, you read that correctly. A full, guaranteed downpour.

Honestly, it’s not even interesting bad weather. It's the kind of weather that exists solely to remind you of all the better things you could be doing, anywhere else. Avoid going outside. Avoid looking at the sky. Just accept that Grand Rapids has once again delivered on its promise of utter meteorological blandness. You've been warned.