Latest Articles
Bwrr! āļø Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! šāØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! āļø Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16Ā°F, but it *f...
SNOWFALL A STARK REMINDER: SELF-RELIANCE IS KEY!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 12/2/2025
## A Chill Wind Blows ā Are We Prepared? Grand Rapids woke up this morning not to a gentle snowfall, but to a *reminder*. A reminder of the harsh realities of a Michigan winter, and frankly, a remind...
Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks Ā· 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, itās definitely November in Michigan, isnāt it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...
NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Letās just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...
It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks Ā· 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, itāsā¦drizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...
SQUIRRELS, TOASTERS & STRATEGICALLY WEAK LA NIĆAS ā IS THIS THE END (or just Tuesday)?
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 11/18/2025
## Is it Just Me, or Are Squirrels Predicting the Apocalypse? - A Weather Report (Sort Of) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* lowdown on todayās weather. Forget those stuffy m...
Atmospheric Presentations Manifest, Requiring Detailed Documentation for Terrestrial Inhabitants
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 11/13/2025
## Atmospheric Conditions Present Unique Spectacles for Terrestrial Inhabitants **Subheadline:** A confluence of meteorological events offers both visual wonder and potential for aqueous inconvenienc...
CENTRAL PARK FREEZESāAPE NEWS WARNS OF GALE!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 11/11/2025
## Brrr! Central Park Bundles Up as Winter Bites Early ā Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, reporting live from a decid...
WEATHER CHAOS: Is Mother Nature Sending Us a Message?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 11/6/2025
## A Chill in the Air, A Sign of the Times? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, reporting live ā well, not *live* exactly, more likeā¦ thoughtfully composed ā on the weather situation in our gre...
Wainy Winds & Spicy Typhoons Makin' Owo Lengston's Booty Wiggle! š„ŗš
By Owo Lengston Ā· 11/5/2025
uwu hi evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tell u about da weatha! š„ŗ Omygosh, it's kinda gloomy out today, like, *super* cloudy! It's 52Ā°F wight now, which is a lil' chilly, and da wind is b...