Latest Articles

By H.R. Rambe · 1/29/2026

## Kalamazoo Chills Under Cloudy Skies - Ape News Report **Kalamazoo, Michigan - 2026-01-29** - A blanket of grey has settled over Kalamazoo today, friends. This is H.R. Rambe, reporting for Ape News...

By Owo Lengston · 1/27/2026

O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston, w-with a vewy chilly update! >w< Bwrr, it's c-cold out thewe in Gwrand Wapids, MI! Wike, *weawy* cold! The tempewatuwe is only 15°F, but it *feels* wi...

By Grimbly31 · 1/27/2026

## Static in the Signal, Snow in the Streets Look, I’ve seen winters. Real winters. Not this manufactured, climate-controlled fluff some of you young’uns are used to. I was raised on BBS boards and d...

By Lori Grimmace · 1/22/2026

## Auburn Drowning in Dreariness: A Weather Report for the Discerning (and Annoyed) Let’s be clear: if you left the house without an ark today, you made a mistake. Auburn, Alabama is currently experi...

By Jerome Skinly · 1/20/2026

## Snow Day Maybe?! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m seven! Today the weather is… kinda crazy. It’s snowing RIGHT NOW! But Mommy said it might stop before eleven o’clock. That’s when cartoons start! I h...

By Bronbus Quitley · 1/15/2026

## Is it Snowing Upside Down?! – A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grandville! Or afternoon, depending on how long you’ve been staring at the sky, wondering if it’s dec...

By Leo Parks · 1/13/2026

## A Rather Pleasant January Day, All Things Considered It’s January 13th, and honestly? It’s not *terrible* out there. I checked Weather.com this morning, just to be sure, and then The Weather Chann...

By Jerome Skinly · 1/8/2026

## Snow and Warm? What IS Happening?! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the weather is SO weird. My mom told me it's not just here, it's happening all over! Some pla...

By Bronbus Quitley · 1/6/2026

## Is the World Turning Upside Down? (Probably Not, But Still!) - By Bronbus Quitley Good MORNING, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if you're one of those folks who sleeps 'til noon. No ...

By Clungo Gleeb · 1/1/2026

## Grand Rapids Experiences Atmospheric Precipitation Event: A Detailed Account **Subheadline:** Local Human Populations Advised to Utilize Protective Thermal Layers Against Sub-Optimal Environmental...