Latest Articles
ROBOTS EAT PROFITS, SILVER STACKS, AND I REMEMBER WHEN PHONES HAD CORDS.
By Grimbly31 · 1/29/2026
## Static and Signals: A Look at the Wires, From a Guy Who Remembers When Wires *Mattered* Alright, settle in, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, watching the “business news” these days ...
ECONOMY OBLITERATED. NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/18/2025
## The Rot Sets In: US Economy Officially Crumbling Let’s not mince words. The numbers released this week aren’t “cooling,” they’re *freezing*. Anyone still clinging to the delusion that the US econo...
AUNT MILDRED'S TOMATOES PREDICTED THE ECONOMY & SEA SLUGS ARE STEALING ALL THE RUBBER!
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/16/2025
## The Slightly Wobbly World Economy & Why My Aunt Mildred's Tomatoes Are to Blame – By Bronbus Quitley Folks, let me tell you, things are…shifting. Not like, a tectonic plate shifting, though those ...
STORES AND STORMS AND NUMBERS OH MY!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/29/2025
## Money Stuff! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about money stuff. Grown-ups talk about it *all* the time. So, there's this thing called Bloomberg...
Taiwan Chips & Troubled Sears: America Still Stands Strong!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/29/2025
## The Backbone of America Bends, But Doesn't Break Folks, let's talk straight. You turn on the news these days and it's all doom and gloom. "Unpredictable holiday spending," they say. "Challenges fo...
BUSINESS: A COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/4/2025
## The Business World is a Dumpster Fire, and Everyone's Just Adding Fuel Let’s not beat around the bush. The state of business is, frankly, pathetic. A collection of desperate grabs, tone-deaf state...
GLOBAL BANANA HOARDING THREATENS TROOP STABILITY - APE NEWS REPORT
By H.R. Rambe · 10/18/2025
## Banana Republic or Bust? A Look at the Shifting Sands of Global Business - By H.R. Rambe **October 18, 2025** – Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the concre...
Pigeons Plummet, Robots Brew, Llamas Rule & SPACE HOTELS?! (Mildred Told Me So!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/10/2025
## Pigeon Post Profits Plummet, While Robo-Baristas Rise! (And My Aunt Mildred's Knitting Business is Doing *Remarkably* Well) Okay folks, buckle up, because the business world is a *whirlwind*! I wa...
MONEY IS WEIRD AND UP AND DOWN!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/9/2025
## Stuff is Happening With Money! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I'm Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! My mom says lots of stuff is happening with money right now, so I’m gonna tell you about i...
GOVERNMINT CLOSED WOOD COST MORE TUMMY BUGS!
By Jerome Skinly · 10/2/2025
## Stuff is Happening With Money! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to understand grown-up stuff so I can tell you about it. My mom says lots of stuff is happening with money rig...