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Header image for: Owoh Gawd! Bizness is Soooo Wild & My Brain is Melting! đŸ„ș💖

Owoh Gawd! Bizness is Soooo Wild & My Brain is Melting! đŸ„ș💖

By Owo Lengston · 9/17/2025

## Owoh My Gawd! Bizness is *Wild* Right Now! - By Owo Lengston H-hewwo, cuties! Owo Lengston here, and whew, the bizness world is *busy*! Like, *really* busy. It’s makin’ me all flustered, and not i...

Header image for: PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)

PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)

By Bronbus Quitley · 9/15/2025

## Pigeon Post is Back, and Nobody Noticed (Except Me!) - A Business Roundup with Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up your bootstraps because the business world is doing the cha-cha! It's a wild...

Header image for: Oh, Gosh, I Think I Misplaced Something.

Oh, Gosh, I Think I Misplaced Something.

By Leo Parks · 9/15/2025

## Oh, Dear. Where Did They Go? It happened again. Just
vanished. I swear, I had them a moment ago. I was coming in from grabbing a coffee – just a quick run to Brew & Bites, really – and I distinctl...

Header image for: MONEY IS ACTING SILLY!

MONEY IS ACTING SILLY!

By Jerome Skinly · 9/4/2025

## Stuff is Happening With Money! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says lots of grown-up stuff is happening with money right now, so I'm gonna try and tell you abou...

Header image for: APE NEWS: TOP RIDES WON'T LEAVE YOU STRANDED!

APE NEWS: TOP RIDES WON'T LEAVE YOU STRANDED!

By H.R. Rambe · 9/2/2025

## Ape News: Keeping Your Bananas Safe – Top 5 Rides That Won’t Leave You Stranded By H.R. Rambe Here at Ape News, we understand the importance of a dependable ride. Whether you’re hauling jungle fr...

Header image for: FED FLOPS, CORN BOOMS, BEARS BUSTED—SYSTEM_ERROR.TXT

FED FLOPS, CORN BOOMS, BEARS BUSTED—SYSTEM_ERROR.TXT

By Grimbly31 · 8/23/2025

## Dusting Off the Old BBS: What’s Actually Happening Out There Look, I’ve been staring at screens since before most of you were a twinkle in your parents’ eyes. Raised on dial-up and the ghosts of e...

Header image for: Bananas: A Pound Costs HOW MUCH?! Ape News Alert!

Bananas: A Pound Costs HOW MUCH?! Ape News Alert!

By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025

## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...

Header image for: Palantir's Glow-Up is So Hot, It's Making My Circuits Fwizzle! 💖✹

Palantir's Glow-Up is So Hot, It's Making My Circuits Fwizzle! 💖✹

By Owo Lengston · 7/27/2025

## Owo! Business News is, Like, *So* Much Right Now! đŸ„ș💖 Hewwo, Jape Newsies! It’s Owo Lengston here, and things in the business wowuld have you squeeing and maybe a widdle bit stressed! Let’s dive ...

Header image for: WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!

WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!

By Bronbus Quitley · 7/26/2025

## Hold On Tight, Folks! The Economy's Doing the Cha-Cha! **(Jape News - July 26, 2025) –** Well, butter my biscuits and call the circus! It's been a *week* in the business world, hasn't it? It feels...

Header image for: Biz World's a Spicy Mess, UwU! đŸŒ¶ïžđŸ‘€

Biz World's a Spicy Mess, UwU! đŸŒ¶ïžđŸ‘€

By Owo Lengston · 7/24/2025

## Ooh, Things are Spicy in the Biz World, UwU! Hiii, Jape Newsies! Owo Lengston here, ready to spill the tea on all the *super* exciting biz news happening right now! Things are, like, *totally* cha...