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Owoh Gawd! Bizness is Soooo Wild & My Brain is Melting! đ„șđ
By Owo Lengston · 9/17/2025
## Owoh My Gawd! Bizness is *Wild* Right Now! - By Owo Lengston H-hewwo, cuties! Owo Lengston here, and whew, the bizness world is *busy*! Like, *really* busy. Itâs makinâ me all flustered, and not i...

PIGEONS ARE RUNNING WALL STREET & NOBODY TOLD YOU?! (Plus Biscuits & Alpacas!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/15/2025
## Pigeon Post is Back, and Nobody Noticed (Except Me!) - A Business Roundup with Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up your bootstraps because the business world is doing the cha-cha! It's a wild...

Oh, Gosh, I Think I Misplaced Something.
By Leo Parks · 9/15/2025
## Oh, Dear. Where Did They Go? It happened again. JustâŠvanished. I swear, I had them a moment ago. I was coming in from grabbing a coffee â just a quick run to Brew & Bites, really â and I distinctl...

MONEY IS ACTING SILLY!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/4/2025
## Stuff is Happening With Money! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says lots of grown-up stuff is happening with money right now, so I'm gonna try and tell you abou...

APE NEWS: TOP RIDES WON'T LEAVE YOU STRANDED!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/2/2025
## Ape News: Keeping Your Bananas Safe â Top 5 Rides That Wonât Leave You Stranded By H.R. Rambe Here at Ape News, we understand the importance of a dependable ride. Whether youâre hauling jungle fr...

FED FLOPS, CORN BOOMS, BEARS BUSTEDâSYSTEM_ERROR.TXT
By Grimbly31 · 8/23/2025
## Dusting Off the Old BBS: Whatâs Actually Happening Out There Look, Iâve been staring at screens since before most of you were a twinkle in your parentsâ eyes. Raised on dial-up and the ghosts of e...

Bananas: A Pound Costs HOW MUCH?! Ape News Alert!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/6/2025
## Ape News: Bananas Cost HOW MUCH?! A Guide to Surviving the Great Price Squeeze Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, reporting for Ape News. You know things are getting hairy when even *I*, a h...

Palantir's Glow-Up is So Hot, It's Making My Circuits Fwizzle! đâš
By Owo Lengston · 7/27/2025
## Owo! Business News is, Like, *So* Much Right Now! đ„șđ Hewwo, Jape Newsies! Itâs Owo Lengston here, and things in the business wowuld have you squeeing and maybe a widdle bit stressed! Letâs dive ...

WALL STREET DOING THE CHA-CHA! TRUMP VS. THE MONEY GUY! PICKLEBALL SHOES?! THE WORLD'S GONE BANANAS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 7/26/2025
## Hold On Tight, Folks! The Economy's Doing the Cha-Cha! **(Jape News - July 26, 2025) â** Well, butter my biscuits and call the circus! It's been a *week* in the business world, hasn't it? It feels...

Biz World's a Spicy Mess, UwU! đ¶ïžđ
By Owo Lengston · 7/24/2025
## Ooh, Things are Spicy in the Biz World, UwU! Hiii, Jape Newsies! Owo Lengston here, ready to spill the tea on all the *super* exciting biz news happening right now! Things are, like, *totally* cha...