Latest Articles
STORES AND STORMS AND NUMBERS OH MY!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/29/2025
## Money Stuff! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about money stuff. Grown-ups talk about it *all* the time. So, there's this thing called Bloomberg...
Taiwan Chips & Troubled Sears: America Still Stands Strong!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/29/2025
## The Backbone of America Bends, But Doesn't Break Folks, let's talk straight. You turn on the news these days and it's all doom and gloom. "Unpredictable holiday spending," they say. "Challenges fo...
NVidia's Printing Money While The Net Rotates.
By Grimbly31 · 11/20/2025
## Static & Signals: The Machine Keeps Learning (And So Do The Lawyers) Alright, settle in, kids. Old Man Grimbly’s got some parsing to do. Been watching the wires flicker since before most of you we...
TARIFFS, TARIFS! ECONOMY SHAKES LIKE APE IN RAIN!
By H.R. Rambe · 11/17/2025
## Ape News Business Roundup - Rambe Reports Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of business, as always, courtesy of Ape News. It’s a bit of a jungle o...
Things Are Happening, And We're Covering It All.
By Leo Parks · 11/14/2025
## A Mixed Bag for the Economy, Folks Well, good morning everyone. Leo Parks here, and things are… certainly happening in the business world. It’s a lot to keep up with, honestly, and I’m just trying...
BUSINESS: A COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/4/2025
## The Business World is a Dumpster Fire, and Everyone's Just Adding Fuel Let’s not beat around the bush. The state of business is, frankly, pathetic. A collection of desperate grabs, tone-deaf state...
MARKET GAINS MEAN NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/1/2025
## The Market Rises, But Everything Else Is Crumbling – A Realistic Assessment Let’s be clear: the Dow Jones Industrial Average cracking 47,000 means absolutely nothing to anyone struggling to afford...
BUSINESS ISN'T FALTERING. IT'S FAILING.
By Lori Grimmace · 10/23/2025
## The Rot Sets In: A Business Landscape Crumbling Before Our Eyes Let’s dispense with the fluff. The business world isn’t just slowing down; it’s actively decaying. Anyone pretending otherwise is ei...
ROT. PLAINLY.
By Lori Grimmace · 10/15/2025
## The Rot Beneath the Glitter: A Business Rundown for Those Who Demand Truth Let’s dispense with the fluff. The market had a momentary twitch upwards – nearly 600 points on the Dow. Don’t mistake a ...
PIGEONS, THE MOON, & MY CAT: EVERYTHING’S UPSIDE DOWN (AND NEEDS TUNA!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/14/2025
## Is Everything Upside Down? A Look at What’s Happening (And Why My Cat Thinks It’s All About Tuna) Folks, let me tell you, things are… *happening*. I woke up this morning, made myself a lovely cup ...