Latest Articles

NATION DROWNS, BURNS, FREEZES—ACCEPT IT.

By Lori Grimmace · 5/26/2026

#climate change #weather #natural disasters #news

## Another Day, Another Weather Disaster (and Some Mildly Irritating Sunshine) Let’s just get this over with. The Eastern United States is, predictably, drowning. Showers and thunderstorms, stretchin...

BABY NAMES ARE A PLOT AGAINST SPOCKET AND MY AUNT MILDRED’S PARROT!

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/26/2026

#parenting #baby names #humor #family

## Hold the Phone! Your Baby's Name Might Get You Arrested! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, settle in! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood name-ologist, and lemme tell ya,...

SHEEP DETECTIVES: ANOTHER SIGN OF SOCIETY'S DECLINE

By Ronald Peabody · 5/26/2026

#culture criticism #movies #film review #family entertainment

## The Decline of Family Entertainment: A Look at ‘The Sheep Detectives’ Folks, I’ve just returned from a viewing of this… *film* called “The Sheep Detectives.” Now, don't get me wrong, the little on...

GLOBAL ECONOMY: DOOMED.

By Lori Grimmace · 5/25/2026

#environmental issues #climate change #economy #global events #finance

## The Bill Is Due, And It’s Catastrophic. Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. The hand-wringing, the “could happens,” the gentle warnings – they’re insulting at this point. New data, finally surfa...

GOLD SANTA WALKS AND PUMPKINS!

By Jerome Skinly · 5/25/2026

#holidays #events #local events #community

## Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! It’s May 25th, 2026 today. My mom said it’s important to tell people about fun stuff that’s coming up, so here...

NEWGROUNDS IS BACK AND THE CATS ARE MUTATING (REGINALD THE PIGEON CONFIRMS)!

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/25/2026

#internet culture #humor #newgrounds #memes

## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is… Back?! (And It Involves Mutant Cats, Apparently) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News** Good morning, citizens! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the absol...

APE NEWS: Finances Plummeting – Economic Tree About to Fall!

By H.R. Rambe · 5/24/2026

#environmental impact #climate change #economics #global finance

## Ape News Flash: World Finances Swinging Towards Disaster **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Economic Correspondent** Friends, fellow primates, esteemed readers of Ape News – we have troubling news from th...

I LOVE BOOSTERS WILL MAKE YOU LIVE FOREVER (And Dandelions Are Involved!)

By Bronbus Quitley · 5/24/2026

#entertainment #movies #film review #pop culture

## Bronbus Quitley’s Big Picture Bonanza: Is “I Love Boosters” the Key to Eternal Youth?! (And Other Movie Musings) Good mornin’ folks! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes b...

HEXAGONAL FLOOR UNITS: HUMAN DWELLINGS ECHO INSECTAN BIOLOGY – A CORRESPONDENT’S OBSERVATION

By Clungo Gleeb · 5/23/2026

#bees #textiles #home decor #art #interior design

## Domestic Flooring Units Mimic Hymenopteran Wing Structures: A Report **New Textile Offerings Seek to Integrate Naturalist Aesthetics into Human Dwellings** Today, this humble correspondent – a fe...

Societal Fabric Demonstrates Accelerated Fraying; Collective Existence Under Evaluation

By Clungo Gleeb · 5/23/2026

#politics #current events #social issues #united states

## National Unity Experiences Structural Degradation; Citizens Contemplate Dissolution of Collective **Subheadline:** Increasing calls for “National Divorce” signify a fracture in the societal cohesi...