Latest Articles

Cwowz Awe Thicc, Smawt, and Wiww Remembew Yo' Face, UwU! 👀

By Owo Lengston · 2/15/2026

## Owo, Da Crows Awe So Cwute and Smart! 🥺 Hewwo evewyone, it’s ya boi Owo Lengston, and today we’we talkin’ ‘bout cwows! Yes, dose big, bwack biwdies dat awe *so* mysterious and kinda spooky, but a...

APE NEWS: Digital Jungle Swings WILDER—Predators Use AI!

By H.R. Rambe · 2/15/2026

#cybersecurity #threat intelligence #ai #vulnerability management #cisa

## Ape News: The Digital Jungle Gets Wilder – A Look at the Last Month By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the ever-shifting digital jungle. Here ...

HUMANS MODIFY METAL: APE NEWS REPORTS VEHICULAR CHAOS!

By H.R. Rambe · 2/15/2026

#humor #culture #automotive #vehicles #modification

## Wheelie Weird: A Look at Automotive Absurdity - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of…well, frankly, vehicular madness. Her...

INFANTS WITH IPHONES PROVE PARENTHOOD IS DYING.

By Lori Grimmace · 2/14/2026

#social commentary #technology #parenting #child development

## The iPhone and Your Infant: A Descent Into Madness Let's be blunt. The very question of whether a *baby* should have an iPhone is insulting. It speaks to a level of parental dereliction so profoun...

NEW BRAINS AND FIRE CARDS!

By Jerome Skinly · 2/14/2026

#hardware #pc gaming #video games #technology

## Stuff For Your Game Machine! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like video games A LOT. My big brother tells me all about the stuff *inside* the game machines and it's kinda cool, but also REAL...

CROWS: OBJECTIVELY AWFUL.

By Lori Grimmace · 2/13/2026

#opinion #animals #nature #birds

## Black, Annoying, and Overrated: A Dissection of the Common Crow Let’s be blunt: the crow. Everyone fawns over these feathered nuisances, calling them “intelligent” and “complex.” Please. They’re g...

NAMES MATTER: Saving Our Kids From Ridiculous Trends.

By Ronald Peabody · 2/13/2026

#family #lifestyle #parenting #baby names

## A Tradition Under Threat: Protecting Our Children – and Our Heritage – One Name at a Time Folks, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the direction this country is headed. Seems like common sense...

MICHIGAN IS A FREEZING DISGRACE.

By Lori Grimmace · 2/12/2026

#weather #michigan #local news #winter

## Another February Day, Another Reason to Stay Inside Grand Rapids, MI – Let’s be clear: if you ventured outside today hoping for a glimpse of spring, you made a mistake. A *significant* mistake. Th...

MR GRUMBLES IS MAD AT THE BUNNY!

By Jerome Skinly · 2/12/2026

#humor #social commentary #current events #media criticism

## Mr. Grumbles and the Never-Ending News Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm telling you about my neighbor, Mr. Grumbles. He's REALLY old. Not like, super-duper old, but older...

SYSTEM OVERLOAD: PLANET DOWN. NO ROLLBACK.

By Grimbly31 · 2/12/2026

#climate change #environment #economics #global issues

## Lag Spikes and System Failure: When the Real World Buffs Back Okay, look. I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were even *ideas*. I cut my teeth on bulletin boards, learne...