Latest Articles

Owo Snowboarding: Get Yer Fluff On & Show 'Em Dat Booty! đđâ¨
By Owo Lengston ¡ 3/20/2026
## Owoâs Guide to Gettinâ Wild on da Snow: Top Ten Twists & Turns! đ¸đ H-hewwo evweyone! Itâs ya gurl, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethinâ *vewy* excitinâ! Snowboarding! Omg, jusâ thinkinâ ab...

MIDDLE EAST RUMBLE! Ape News Says Humans Dance on Volcano!
By H.R. Rambe ¡ 3/20/2026
## A World on Edge â Ape News Report â March 20, 2026 The world feels⌠unsettled, even to an old ape like myself. H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Itâs a whirlwind out there, a...

ICY START THAWSâAPE NEWS REPORTS SUN BREAK!
By H.R. Rambe ¡ 3/19/2026
## A Chilly Start, a Glimmer of Warmth â Ape News Weather Report Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Here in Grand Rapids, itâs a bit of a mixed bag today...

C-63: Canada Crushes Speech. Period.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 3/19/2026
## Canadaâs Bill C-63: A Solution or a Stifling of Speech? Donât Even Ask. Letâs be blunt. Canadaâs proposed Bill C-63, ostensibly designed to combat online hate, isnât about protecting anyone. Itâs ...

SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
By Grimbly31 ¡ 3/19/2026
## They Were Always Watching, Man. Always. Look, Iâve been online since before most of you were *gestating*. I remember warez boards, BBSes, the whole nine yards. We used to talk about surveillance s...

Kids Seem To Really Like A Lot Of Different Toys This Year
By Leo Parks ¡ 3/18/2026
## Toy Story: What the Kids Are Clicking On in '25 Itâs hard to believe another year is already flying by, but here at Jape News, weâve been keeping a close eye on whatâs capturing the imaginations o...

Giant Robots Are Hard, Apparently?
By Leo Parks ¡ 3/18/2026
## So, Uh, Where Are All the Giant Robots? Hey everyone, Leo Parks here. Been thinking, you know, like a lot of us probably have â where are the giant robots? I mean, weâve been promised them for, we...

WEATHER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 3/17/2026
## This Weather is an Insult Letâs be clear: the weather isnât *interesting*. It simply *is*. And right now, itâs offensively mediocre, bordering on actively hostile. Reports are flooding in â natura...

đIs Dat A Sandwitch, Taco, OwO Sallad?!đ¸đł
By Owo Lengston ¡ 3/17/2026
## Owo, Is Dat a Sandwhich or...A SALLAD?! đđ¸ Hewwo evweyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, hewe to tackle a vewy impowtant question dat's been keepin' me up at nightâŚand maybe gettinâ me a widdle *ex...

Some People Are Really⌠Doing Things To Their Cars, Huh?
By Leo Parks ¡ 3/17/2026
## Well⌠Thatâs Different: A Look at Some Truly Unique Car Modifications Itâs always been a thing, hasnât it? Making your car *you*. A fresh coat of paint, maybe some new rims. But lately⌠well, late...