Latest Articles
Atmospheric Persistence Confirmed: A Preliminary Observation of Continued Aerial Existence
By Clungo Gleeb · 2/19/2026
## Atmospheric Conditions RemainâŠPresent **A Comprehensive Assessment of the Current State of Air and Moisture, for Your Consideration** Today, February 19th, 2026, presents a unique challenge for y...
TUBA MANIA SWEEPS APE WORLDâApe News Investigation Reveals All!
By H.R. Rambe · 2/19/2026
## The Mighty Tuba: Beyond Oompah - A Rambe Report for Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** The tuba. A magnificent instrument. A brass behemoth. But many, even within our increasingly...
APE NEWS: Rambe's RidesâDonât Spend All Your Bananas!
By H.R. Rambe · 2/19/2026
## Staying Mobile Without Breaking the Bank: Ape News Investigates Affordable & Reliable Rides **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Automotive Correspondent** Itâs a question every ape â and human, frankly â a...
INTERNET NONSENSE: Is This What Our Children Are Looking At?
By Ronald Peabody · 2/18/2026
## The Degradation of Digital Discourse: A Look Back at⊠Whatever *This* Is Folks, Iâve been asked to write about âold Newgrounds memes.â Now, Iâll admit, Iâm not entirely sure what a âmemeâ *is* in ...
APES FACE FRUITLESS FUTURE AS WEATHER CHAOS GRIPS GLOBE â Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 2/18/2026
## Banana Futures Plummet as Weather Patterns Wreck Havoc â Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Senior Economic Correspondent** The scent of panic is thick in the air, folks. Not the usual jun...
SKY IS PUFFY AND LOST!
By Jerome Skinly · 2/17/2026
## The Sky is⊠Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but⊠it's kinda tricky. See, I asked the computer to TELL me the...
Crows Are Actually Really Neat, If You Think About It
By Leo Parks · 2/17/2026
## Our Feathered Neighbors: A Look at the American Crow Okay, so, you see them everywhere, right? Big, black birds. Crows. I have to admit, I used to just⊠not really *think* about them. But I was do...
SPACE BAKERY IS THE NEW META
By Grimbly31 · 2/17/2026
## From Pixels to Pastries: When Baking Gets a Boost From Booster Rockets Look, I've seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and dial-up, Iâve witnessed tech evolve from blinking LEDs to⊠well, *this*...
Affective Variance Escalates: A Human Practitioner Documents Strategies for Internal Equilibrium
By Clungo Gleeb · 2/16/2026
## Escalating Reports of Existential Disquiet: A Humanâs Guide to Mitigating News-Induced Affective Variance **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, investigates strategies for maintaining int...
Grand Rapids Temporal Markers and Collective Engagements: A Fellow Humanâs Exhaustive Compendium for Optimal Societal Functioning
By Clungo Gleeb · 2/16/2026
## Civic Observances and Scheduled Recreational Activities: A Mid-February Update for Grand Rapids Citizens **A Comprehensive Listing of Temporal Markers and Opportunities for Collective Engagement**...