Latest Articles

Wholesome Romance Restores Faith in Family Values!
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/6/2026
## A Return to Sensibility? A Look at āAll of My Heart: Inn Loveā Folks, let me tell you, itās refreshing to see a film that doesnāt try to shock you with depravity or leave you questioning the very ...

WRESTLING MOVES & LIMBURGER CHEESE: I KNEW A GUY!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 2/6/2026
## Bronbus Quitley Reports: The Wild World of Wrestling Moves (and Their Even Wilder Names!) Folks, lemme tell ya, I've seen things. *Things* I tell ya! Been coverin' wrestling since, oh, goodness, b...

DETROIT WEATHER IS A PUNISHMENT.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 2/5/2026
## Another Gray Day, Another Waste of Oxygen Letās be clear: the weather is offensively mediocre. Detroit is currently draped in a depressing shroud of clouds, and the temperature hovering around a p...

PARENTS RUIN EVERYTHING. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 2/5/2026
## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to Not Ruining Your Childās Special Day Letās be blunt. Most childrenās birthday parties are exercises in parental anxiety and kid-induced chaos. But it doe...

PIZZA MADE IN A ROCKET OVEN!!!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/5/2026
## Hot Pizza From a Rocket! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and Iām seven! Today I learned about pizza⦠and ROCKETS! Thereās a place in Grand Rapids, Michigan called Rocket Pies. They make pizza and salad. Bu...

Optimized Planetary Outcomes Confirmed: A Fellow Human Reports on Statistical Uprising
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 2/4/2026
## A Resurgence of Fortuitous Circumstances: Global Developments Suggest a Period of Optimized Human Outcomes **Subheadline:** Reports Indicate a Notable Increase in Positive Data Points Across Multi...

Smart Devices: Are They Spying On You?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/4/2026
## Big Brother in Your Bedroom? What They *Donāt* Want You To Know About Your āSmartā Devices Folks, let's talk sense. We've all wondered, haven't we? You're sitting there, minding your own business,...

Owo! Don't Name Your Baby Nutella, OwO! š„ŗ It's Fow Eatin', Not Lifin'! āØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 2/4/2026
# Owo! No-No Names: A Guide to Not Messin' Up Your Little Bean's Life! š„ŗ Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant: baby names! š¼ I get it, pickin' a ...

SIGNAL LOST. CHECK FREQUENCY.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 2/3/2026
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iāve seen a lot of winters. *A lot*. Back when monitors glowed green and you needed a phone line to connect to anyone, winters were⦠different. They felt *bigger*, s...

TUBA SECRETS REVEALED: CHOCOLATE ORIGINS & PINEAPPLE BALANCING!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 2/3/2026
## Hold the Phone, Folks! The Tuba: It's Not Just For Oom-Pah Anymore! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, alright settle down now! Bronbus Quitley here, reporting LIVE from⦠well, my kitchen actually. But...