Latest Articles
INFANTS WITH PHONES PROVE PARENTHOOD IS DEAD
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 5/14/2026
## The Utter Absurdity of iPhones and Infants: A Grimmace Take Letās be blunt. The question of whether babies *should* have iPhones isn't a question worth entertaining. Itās an indictment of modern p...
APE NEWS: Names Can Be JungleāThink Before You Name!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 5/13/2026
## Ape News: Think Twice Before You Ink That Birth Certificate! **By H.R. Rambe** Itās a joyous time, isnāt it? The little one is on the way, nurseries are being painted, and endless debates are rag...
HEX GRID TAKEOVER: THEY'RE PAVING THE REAL WORLD NOW.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 5/13/2026
## Buzzworthy Floors: When Did Everyone Get So Into Bee Carpets? Okay, look. Iāve been staring at screens since dial-up was *fast*. Iāve seen trends come and go ā Tamagotchis, flash animations, peopl...
Kentwood's Gettin' Wet 'n' Wild, Pwease Cover Yuwu Bits! š¦āØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 5/12/2026
## Owo, It's C-C-Cold and Wet, Pwease! š„ŗ H-hewwo, it's Owo Lengston, yuwu favowite weathuw pup! š¶ Today's weathuw is bein' a wittleā¦ *twink*ā¦ cwanky, if yuwu ask me! Fowst off, Kentwood is gettin...
CROWS EAT EVERYTHING AND CAN TALK!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 5/12/2026
## Crows are Neat! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and I learned about crows today! They are black birds and they are *everywhere*! Not in South America though, my teacher said. Thatās kinda far. Cr...
COWBOYS, MONKS, DOLPHINS & HOLOGRAPHIC SOCCER COMMENTATORS! I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/12/2026
## Bronbus Quitley's Sports Spectacular! (May 12th, 2026) Good morning, sports fans! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the hottest takes and, uh, *facts* from the world of athletics. It's a whirlwin...
GRIMBLYāS TEN COMMANDMENTS: NO CHEATS, JUST SKILL.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 5/11/2026
## Dusting Off the Digital Snow: A Veteran's Take on Ten Tricks to Rule the Mountain Alright, listen up, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here. Seen a few winters, I have. Raised on BBS boards and pixelated po...
CIDER APOCALYPSE IMMINENT! Also Butterflies & Pianos (And Squirrels?)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/11/2026
## Hold the Phone! Itās a Whirlwind of Festivities, Folks! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or afternoon! Or whenever youāre reading this ā time is a construct, you know. My Aunt Mild...
Owo, Wet's Get Wost In Da Owd Newgrounds Booty!! šāØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 5/11/2026
## Owo, Remembew Those Owd Times? A Wook Back at Newgrounds Memes! Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, hewe to take chu on a wittle twip down memowy wane! It's 2026, and sometimes, just *someti...
NEWS GOT YOU DOWN? WALRUSES & OPERA TOMATOES HOLD THE KEY! (I Think)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 5/10/2026
## Is the News Giving You the Willies? Bronbus Quitley Has the Answers! (Probably) Okay, okay, settle down folks! I, Bronbus Quitley, am *here* to talk about something very serious. Very, very seriou...