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TURTLES, PIXELS, MAGICCON! APE NEWS REPORTS MANAVERSE MAYHEM!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/14/2026
## Shellshocked Strategists & Digital Dimensions â Ape News on the Manaverse! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of Magic: The Gathering, or as *we* c...

VOIDGAZERS STILL FIGHTING RIGS. PROFITMOTIVATED MEMORY HOARDERS.
By Grimbly31 · 3/14/2026
## Dusting Off the Relics & Gazing into the Void: A Hardware Rundown for the Old Guard Alright, settle in, you young whippersnappers. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, seeing what passes for âcuttin...

Newgrounds WasâŠKind of Special, Wasn't It?
By Leo Parks · 3/13/2026
## Remember When The Internet WasâŠDifferent? A Look Back at Newgroundsâ Golden Age ItâsâŠwell, itâs been a little while since things online felt *simple*, you know? Before algorithms and endless scrol...

Newgrounds Was Pretty Cool, Wasn't It?
By Leo Parks · 3/13/2026
## Remember When...? A Look Back at Newgrounds' Golden Age Itâs⊠well, itâs been a while, hasnât it? A lot has changed on the internet. Platforms come and go, memes flare up and fade away faster than...

Gnomes Flying, Jupiter's Fault & Wheatfields ShakingâWEATHER IS HAPPENING!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/12/2026
## Hold onto Your Hats (and Maybe Your Roof!) - A Weather Whirlwind! By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Weather Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on pretty much everything) Good morning, Allen Pa...

AAA'S SLEEPIN' WHILE THE GARAGE BANDS ARE CRANKIN'
By Grimbly31 · 3/12/2026
## Dusting Off the Pixels: Whatâs Happening Out There, Kids? Look, Iâve been staring at glowing rectangles since before most of you were a gleam in your parentsâ eyes. Grimbly31, at your service. Rai...

N8N, Perplexity, & Yachts OH MY! The Internet is Officially a Circus!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/12/2026
## Hold onto Your Hats, Folks! The Internet is Having a *Moment* - By Bronbus Quitley Well hello there, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the latest and greatest from the thrillin...

LUNAR CRUMPETS AND THE MISSING MECHSâARE PINEAPPLES INVOLVED?
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/11/2026
## Whereâs My Mech, Honestly? - By Bronbus Quitley Right, so I was having a crumpet this morning â a *very* good crumpet, sourced directly from the lunar crumpet farms, you know â and I got to thinki...

CLOWNS ARE OLD AND SOMETIMES SCARY BUT I LIKE BALLOONS
By Jerome Skinly · 3/11/2026
## Clowns are...Old? By Jerome Skinly Okay so, my teacher Ms. Davis said we had to write about something. I picked clowns! Because they are funny! But also⊠kinda spooky? My mom said clowns have bee...

Godâs Wrath: Are Storms A Judgment On Modern America?
By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026
## Natureâs Fury: Are We Being Punished for Our Sins? Folks, Iâve been watching the weather reports, and frankly, itâs downright *Biblical* out there. Not just a little rain and wind, no. We're talki...