Latest Articles
Things Areā¦Different Than Expected, I Guess.
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## This Isnāt The Future I Asked For Itāsā¦ well, itās a lot. Thatās probably the best way to put it. Standing here, looking at the holo-ads flickering across the perpetually overcast sky, the automat...
BABY FACES GLOWING RECTANGLES: APE NEWS SEES TROUBLE!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 3/24/2026
## Tiny Fingers, Tiny Screens: Are iPhones Good for Baby? ā By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Itās a sight more and more common these days: a tiny human, barely able to sit up, utterly captivated by the glowin...
ROCKET BREAD IS REAL & PIGEONS KNOW YOUR FACE!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 3/24/2026
## Blast Off to Better Bread: Rocket Ovens Are Taking Over (and Maybe Space?) Folks, lemme tell ya, Iāve seen the future of baking. And it involvesā¦ rockets! Not like, sending croissants to the Inter...
Newgrounds Has Some New Stuff Happening, It Seems
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## What *Are* Those Little Blue Guys? A Look at the Latest from Newgrounds Okay, so, Iāve been trying to keep up with whatāsā¦ popularā¦ on Newgrounds lately. Itāsā¦ a lot. Honestly, it moves *fast*. I ...
Owo No No Names! Don't Name Youw Bean Sumthin' Weawy Awful! Uwu!
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
## Owo, No No Names! A Guide To Not Ruining Your Wittle Bean's Life! Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite name-savy jounawist, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about sumthin *vewy* impowtant: baby names! Uwu!...
SKY IS GREY PUFFY MAYBE RAIN!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 3/24/2026
## The Sky is Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today the sky isā¦ doing stuff. My mom said it's called āweather.ā It's not raining RIGHT now, but it *looks* li...
Late March Freeze: Another Excuse to Complain?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 3/24/2026
## A Chill in the Air, But Hope on the Horizon for Grand Rapids Folks, letās talk about the weather. Not the kind of weather we *want* to talk about, mind you ā the kind that reminds you winter isnāt...
Chica-go & Gwand Wapids Awe Fweezing, But Maybe Find A Snuggle Buddy To Keep Ya Toasty! šāļøš¬ļø
By Owo Lengston Ā· 3/24/2026
Owo, guwd mowning evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, wif da weathah update! āļø It's a supe c-c-cold day out dere, especiawwy if you'we in Chica-go ow Gwand Wapids! Both cities awe wockin' a high of...
It's A Little Cold Today, But It's Getting Better Soon, Hopefully
By Leo Parks Ā· 3/24/2026
## A Bit Chilly Out There, Folks Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or, well, good *almost* afternoon. Itās Leo Parks here, and honestly? Itās a little nippy. I just popped outside and, yep, definitely snow...
TRADITIONAL WINTERS UNDER SIEGE: IS PROGRESS THREATENING OUR WAY OF LIFE?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 3/24/2026
## Unseasonable Warmth: Are We Trading Snow for Showers Too Early? Folks, Iām looking out my window here at Jape News headquarters and frankly, it feels more like April than late March. Now, Iām not ...