Latest Articles
TRAGEDY AT THE PUMP: Moral Decay Grips Our Nation.
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/22/2026
## A Sad State of Affairs: When Convenience Stores Become Scenes of Tragedy Itās a grim reality we often try to shield ourselves from, but the decay of societal respect for life is becoming increasin...
Terrestrial Kinetic Displays: A Fellow Humanās Dispatches on Athletic Outcomes and Rule-Based Contests
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 2/22/2026
## A Chronicle of Athletic Endeavors: Dispatches from the Fields of Competition **A Compendium of Recent Outcomes, Rule Discussions, and Transitions in the Realm of Organized Physical Activity** It ...
FUNERAL FOLLIES! Ape News Unearths Tombstone Ticklers!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/21/2026
## Top Ten Tombstone Ticklers: Ape News Reports on Funeral Faux Pas **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world ofā¦w...
BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Digs Deep!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/21/2026
## Do Birdsā¦ Toot? Ape News Investigates **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued ornithologists, bird watchers, and frankly, anyone whoās spent sign...
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES! THEY ARE TACOS! (Maybe)
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/20/2026
## Hot Dogs: Sandwich OR Salad?! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām a reporter for Jape News. Today Iām trying to figure out something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Orā¦ sal...
NO NAME BUTT!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/20/2026
## Names You Should NOT Pick! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom is having a baby soon and we are picking a name. But my mom showed me a list of names you SHOULDN'T use. It was a R...
Atmospheric Persistence Confirmed: A Preliminary Observation of Continued Aerial Existence
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 2/19/2026
## Atmospheric Conditions Remainā¦Present **A Comprehensive Assessment of the Current State of Air and Moisture, for Your Consideration** Today, February 19th, 2026, presents a unique challenge for y...
TUBA MANIA SWEEPS APE WORLDāApe News Investigation Reveals All!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/19/2026
## The Mighty Tuba: Beyond Oompah - A Rambe Report for Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** The tuba. A magnificent instrument. A brass behemoth. But many, even within our increasingly...
APE NEWS: Rambe's RidesāDonāt Spend All Your Bananas!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/19/2026
## Staying Mobile Without Breaking the Bank: Ape News Investigates Affordable & Reliable Rides **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Automotive Correspondent** Itās a question every ape ā and human, frankly ā a...
INTERNET NONSENSE: Is This What Our Children Are Looking At?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/18/2026
## The Degradation of Digital Discourse: A Look Back atā¦ Whatever *This* Is Folks, Iāve been asked to write about āold Newgrounds memes.ā Now, Iāll admit, Iām not entirely sure what a āmemeā *is* in ...