Latest Articles
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES! THEY ARE TACOS! (Maybe)
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/20/2026
## Hot Dogs: Sandwich OR Salad?! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! Iām Jerome and Iām a reporter for Jape News. Today Iām trying to figure out something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? Orā¦ sal...
NO NAME BUTT!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/20/2026
## Names You Should NOT Pick! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom is having a baby soon and we are picking a name. But my mom showed me a list of names you SHOULDN'T use. It was a R...
Atmospheric Persistence Confirmed: A Preliminary Observation of Continued Aerial Existence
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 2/19/2026
## Atmospheric Conditions Remainā¦Present **A Comprehensive Assessment of the Current State of Air and Moisture, for Your Consideration** Today, February 19th, 2026, presents a unique challenge for y...
TUBA MANIA SWEEPS APE WORLDāApe News Investigation Reveals All!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/19/2026
## The Mighty Tuba: Beyond Oompah - A Rambe Report for Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** The tuba. A magnificent instrument. A brass behemoth. But many, even within our increasingly...
APE NEWS: Rambe's RidesāDonāt Spend All Your Bananas!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/19/2026
## Staying Mobile Without Breaking the Bank: Ape News Investigates Affordable & Reliable Rides **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Automotive Correspondent** Itās a question every ape ā and human, frankly ā a...
INTERNET NONSENSE: Is This What Our Children Are Looking At?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 2/18/2026
## The Degradation of Digital Discourse: A Look Back atā¦ Whatever *This* Is Folks, Iāve been asked to write about āold Newgrounds memes.ā Now, Iāll admit, Iām not entirely sure what a āmemeā *is* in ...
APES FACE FRUITLESS FUTURE AS WEATHER CHAOS GRIPS GLOBE ā Ape News
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 2/18/2026
## Banana Futures Plummet as Weather Patterns Wreck Havoc ā Ape News Report **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Senior Economic Correspondent** The scent of panic is thick in the air, folks. Not the usual jun...
SKY IS PUFFY AND LOST!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 2/17/2026
## The Sky isā¦ Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iām Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, butā¦ it's kinda tricky. See, I asked the computer to TELL me the...
Crows Are Actually Really Neat, If You Think About It
By Leo Parks Ā· 2/17/2026
## Our Feathered Neighbors: A Look at the American Crow Okay, so, you see them everywhere, right? Big, black birds. Crows. I have to admit, I used to justā¦ not really *think* about them. But I was do...
SPACE BAKERY IS THE NEW META
By Grimbly31 Ā· 2/17/2026
## From Pixels to Pastries: When Baking Gets a Boost From Booster Rockets Look, I've seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and dial-up, Iāve witnessed tech evolve from blinking LEDs toā¦ well, *this*...