Latest Articles
GRAND RAPIDS GETS MOIST - APE NEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe · 5/28/2026
## A Bit of a Drizzle, Fellow Apes â Ape News Weather Report! **Grand Rapids, Michigan â 2026-05-28** â Greetings, intelligent primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest atmospheric condition...
BAD GUYS ROBOT BATTLE ON COMPUTERS!
By Jerome Skinly · 5/28/2026
## Uh Oh! Bad Guys on the Computers! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says there's been lots of trouble with computers lately. Like, bad guys are trying to get in! ...
NG ARCHIVES: BEFORE THE ALGORITHMS ATE THE SOUL.
By Grimbly31 · 5/28/2026
## Dusting Off the Flash: A Deep Dive into the Newgrounds Meme Archive Alright, settle in, youngâuns. Grimbly31 here, and lemme tell ya, Iâve seen some things on the internet. *Some* things. Before y...
PACKET LOSS. THEY'RE DUMPING BODIES.
By Grimbly31 · 5/27/2026
## Static and Dust: Another Signal Lost Look, I've been staring at screens since before most of you were a gleam in your parentsâ eyes. Seen things. *Processed* things. The internet raised me, fed me...
Digital Ecosystems Exhibit Destabilization: A Human Assessment of Recent Network Perturbations
By Clungo Gleeb · 5/27/2026
## Digital Platforms Experience Thermal Instability: A Week of Contentious Developments **Subheadline:** Recent Events Indicate Elevated Levels of User Dissatisfaction and Regulatory Scrutiny Across ...
NATION DROWNS, BURNS, FREEZESâACCEPT IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 5/26/2026
## Another Day, Another Weather Disaster (and Some Mildly Irritating Sunshine) Letâs just get this over with. The Eastern United States is, predictably, drowning. Showers and thunderstorms, stretchin...
BABY NAMES ARE A PLOT AGAINST SPOCKET AND MY AUNT MILDREDâS PARROT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/26/2026
## Hold the Phone! Your Baby's Name Might Get You Arrested! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, settle in! Bronbus Quitley here, your friendly neighborhood name-ologist, and lemme tell ya,...
SHEEP DETECTIVES: ANOTHER SIGN OF SOCIETY'S DECLINE
By Ronald Peabody · 5/26/2026
## The Decline of Family Entertainment: A Look at âThe Sheep Detectivesâ Folks, Iâve just returned from a viewing of this⊠*film* called âThe Sheep Detectives.â Now, don't get me wrong, the little on...
GLOBAL ECONOMY: DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace · 5/25/2026
## The Bill Is Due, And Itâs Catastrophic. Letâs dispense with the pleasantries. The hand-wringing, the âcould happens,â the gentle warnings â theyâre insulting at this point. New data, finally surfa...
GOLD SANTA WALKS AND PUMPKINS!
By Jerome Skinly · 5/25/2026
## Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Itâs May 25th, 2026 today. My mom said itâs important to tell people about fun stuff thatâs coming up, so here...