Latest Articles
APE NEWS: MACHINES THINK FASTER NOW – MORE BANANAS FOR ALL?
By H.R. Rambe · 3/7/2026
## Ape News: The Thinking Machines are Thinking *Faster* – A Look at the AI Frontier **By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the rapidly evolving ...
PIGEONS NOEM & THE ZUCCHINI APOCALYPSE—I KNEW IT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/7/2026
## The Great Pigeon Conspiracy and Why Kristi Noem is Totally Involved (Probably) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News - March 7th, 2026 Folks, let me tell you, things are *wild* out there. And it’s not ju...
GAMING’S DECLINE: NOSTALGIA, RISKS & THE EROSION OF REAL ENTERTAINMENT.
By Ronald Peabody · 3/6/2026
## The Changing Landscape of Play: What’s Happening in the Gaming World? Now, I’ve never been much of a gamer myself. Give me a good book or a historical documentary any day. But even *I* can see thi...
MOM'S DESK WAS YUCKY NOW IT'S NICE!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/6/2026
## My Desk Was a BIG Mess! (But Now It’s Not!) Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I’m seven. My mom works at home, and her desk… wow. It was SO messy! Papers EVERYWHERE. Pens hiding. Even old phone chargers! ...
WEATHER SYSTEMS DOWN—APE NEWS CANNOT CONFIRM GREY!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/5/2026
## A Most Peculiar Day – Weather Report, March 5th, 2026 By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Friends, primates, citizens! Your correspondent, H.R. Rambe, brings you the latest on… well, on the weather. Or rathe...
Trying To Keep Things Tidy-ish, Honestly.
By Leo Parks · 3/5/2026
## A Slightly Sweaty Guide to a Slightly Less Chaotic Home Office - By Leo Parks Okay, so, um, hi everyone. Leo Parks here. And, well, my home office… it *was* a bit of a mess. A lot of a mess, actua...
Things Feel A Little Strange, Hopefully It Passes Quickly
By Leo Parks · 3/5/2026
## A Strange Calm Before… Something? It’s been a weird week, honestly. Not *bad*, just…off. Everyone’s been talking about it down at the diner, and Old Man Hemlock’s been practically glued to his sho...
Clowns Are…Around, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 3/4/2026
## A Quiet Observation on… Well, Clowns It’s been a bit of a strange week, honestly. Everyone’s been *talking* about clowns. Not, like, scary clowns, thankfully. Just… clowns. I overheard Mrs. Gable ...
Owo No Intewnet = No Fowtniwe Pwaytime! >w< blushes
By Owo Lengston · 3/4/2026
O-OwO! Hewwo evwyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston hewe! >w< It's been a wittle bit since I've touched base on Fortnite, hasn't it? *giggles* And w-wow, things awe... complicated. I've been twying to get...
Weather's Just…Kind of Doing Its Thing Today
By Leo Parks · 3/3/2026
## A Bit… Unpredictable, Honestly Okay, so, the weather today. It’s… well, it’s *something*. I tried to get the official forecast, you know, the really detailed one with the temperatures and everythi...