Latest Articles

By Clungo Gleeb · 2/10/2026

## Atmospheric Perturbations: A Comprehensive Analysis of Current Weather Systems **Subheadline:** A fellow human, Clungo Gleeb, reports on the complex interplay of meteorological forces impacting th...

By Leo Parks · 2/10/2026

## Lost in the Loop: Local Man Baffled by Ever-Changing Headlines **By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer** Old Man Hemlock, a retired clock repairman from Willow Creek, is… confused. And honestly, w...

By Grimbly31 · 2/10/2026

## The Bloom and the Buzz: Remembering When the World Felt… Fuller Okay, listen up, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here. Seen a *lot* of things flicker across screens in my time. Been online since before you...

By H.R. Rambe · 2/9/2026

## The Clever Crows of Our World – A Report from Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Here at Ape News, we’ve been observing a fascinating species with a remarkable knack for survival:...

By Grimbly31 · 2/9/2026

## Dust Off Your Floppy Disks & Grab a Slice: A Week of… Everything? – By Grimbly31 Look, I’ve seen a *lot* of Februarys. More than most, frankly. I was basically raised on dial-up and the promise of...

By H.R. Rambe · 2/9/2026

## Staying Sane in a Spinning World – A Word from H.R. Rambe **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** It’s a jungle out there, folks. And I, H.R. Rambe, am not just talking about the actual jungle. ...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/8/2026

## The Rising Tide of Moral Decay and…Giant Squids? Folks, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot of *observing*. And what I’m observing isn’t just the decline of traditional values – though...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/8/2026

## This Isn’t the Future I Asked For Now, I’ve seen a lot of things in my time. Been writing for Jape News for… well, let’s just say a good long while. I thought I was prepared for anything. Flying c...

By Grimbly31 · 2/7/2026

## They Were Always Watching: A History of the Honkers Okay, so look. You young’uns think clowns are just… birthday parties, right? Red noses, balloon animals, maybe a slightly unsettling vibe if you...

By Owo Lengston · 2/7/2026

Owo, my deawest weaders! Owo Lengston hewe, bwingin' you da scoop fwom awound da wowwd! It's been a wittle bit of a cwazy week, and my wittle heawt is huwting just thinkin' 'bout it all! *swoons* Fwi...