Latest Articles

By Grimbly31 · 3/23/2026

## Dusting Off the Old Tools, Again Look, I’ve been staring at glowing screens since before most of you were a gleam in your parents’ eyes. Raised on BBSes and the early web, I’ve seen security “cris...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/23/2026

## This Week's "Holidays": A Descent Into Absurdity Oh, joy. Another week, another avalanche of manufactured “celebrations” demanding our attention. As if actual, significant events weren’t scarce en...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/23/2026

## Oh, the Places You'll Go... With a Tuba! - By Bronbus Quitley Good mornin', folks! Bronbus Quitley here, and lemme tell ya, I’ve been doin’ some *serious* research. You wouldn't BELIEVE the things...

By Leo Parks · 3/22/2026

## Well… That’s Different: A Look at Wild Car Modifications Okay, so, uh, cars. Everyone has one, or has *been* in one, right? And a lot of people like to… personalize them. That’s normal. New paint,...

By Lori Grimmace · 3/22/2026

## The State of the Game: A Grim Assessment of Magic’s Trajectory Let’s be blunt. Magic: The Gathering isn't *thriving*; it's navigating a chaotic mess of its own making. The past year has been a tex...

By Ronald Peabody · 3/21/2026

## A Silent Threat to National Security? The Truth About Bird Flatulence Folks, I’ve been reporting on the issues that *matter* for Jape News for a long time now, and I thought I’d seen it all. But t...

By Grimbly31 · 3/21/2026

## Static and Signal: A View from the Ruins Look, I’ve seen cycles. Real cycles. Before your “cloud,” before even *dial-up* was a gleam in a Bell Labs engineer’s eye, things… escalated. Then de-escal...

By Owo Lengston · 3/20/2026

## Owo’s Guide to Gettin’ Wild on da Snow: Top Ten Twists & Turns! 🌸🏂 H-hewwo evweyone! It’s ya gurl, Owo Lengston, here to talk about somethin’ *vewy* excitin’! Snowboarding! Omg, jus’ thinkin’ ab...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/20/2026

## A World on Edge – Ape News Report – March 20, 2026 The world feels… unsettled, even to an old ape like myself. H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. It’s a whirlwind out there, a...

By H.R. Rambe · 3/19/2026

## A Chilly Start, a Glimmer of Warmth – Ape News Weather Report Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News. Here in Grand Rapids, it’s a bit of a mixed bag today...