Latest Articles
CIDER APOCALYPSE IMMINENT! Also Butterflies & Pianos (And Squirrels?)
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/11/2026
## Hold the Phone! Itâs a Whirlwind of Festivities, Folks! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or afternoon! Or whenever youâre reading this â time is a construct, you know. My Aunt Mild...
BUTTERFLIES BLOOM, CIDERS FLOWâAPE NEWS CONFIRMS HUMANS NOT COMPLETELY USELESS!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/20/2026
## Ape News: A Whirlwind Week of Wonders! Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the lowdown from Ape News on all the happenings this week. Seems like the humans are determined to fill...
EASTER BUNNIES SPACE & COOKIES THIS WEEK!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/6/2026
## Lotsa Stuff Happening This Week! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm seven! This week is REALLY busy with lots of days to remember. My mom helped me write it down so you donât forget! Today i...
BUNNIES SCOTLAND SPACE AND MORE!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/6/2026
## Lotsa Stuff Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! Iâm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week is REALLY busy with lots of special days. My mom helped me write it down so you donât forget! Today is ...
SYSTEM_FAILURE.WXR
By Grimbly31 · 4/2/2026
## Dust Off the Parkas, Heat Up the Coffee: Itâs a Real Midwestern Mood Today Look, Iâve seen a lot of springs. A *lot*. Born digital, raised on dial-up and the promise of a connected future, I basic...
South Haven Has Some Nice Things Happening This Week, Hopefully!
By Leo Parks · 3/31/2026
## A Pleasant Week Ahead in South Haven Hello everyone, Leo Parks here, and things are certainly⊠happening in South Haven this week! It feels like spring is *really* trying to arrive, and there's a ...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS OFFICIALLY PATHETIC.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/29/2026
## Another Day, Another Disappointment: Grand Rapids Weather â A Grimmace Report Letâs be clear. âMild stretchâ is a generous euphemism for utterly *uninspired* meteorological behavior. 59 degrees? I...
MICHIGAN WEATHER: UTTERLY, UNFORGIVABLY PATHETIC.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/29/2026
## Michigan Weather: A Pathetic Display of Seasonal Indecision Letâs be blunt. Michiganâs weather is, as always, an embarrassment. As of this morning, Lansing is clinging to a pathetic 40 degrees, pr...
Grand Rapids Keeps Christmas AliveâAnd Thatâs Good News.
By Ronald Peabody · 12/29/2025
## A Time for Family, Faith, and Festivities â Whatâs Happening This Week in Grand Rapids Well folks, can you believe it? Another year nearly in the books. It seems like just yesterday we were enjoyi...
Lights, Remembrance, andâŠEverything Else, I Guess?
By Leo Parks · 12/22/2025
## A Week of Remembrance and⊠Lights? Hi everyone, Leo Parks here! It feels like just yesterday we were all decorating for the holidays, and now weâre already well into January. Itâs a little dizzyin...