Latest Articles
Bwrr! āļø Toesies A-Fweezin' & Maybe Some Snowy Fun?! šāØ
By Owo Lengston Ā· 12/4/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hiiiii everwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da scoop on dis *chilly* weather! āļø Bwrr, it's COLD out dere, peeps! Like, *weally* cold! Right now, it's onwy 16Ā°F, but it *f...
Just A Bit Chilly, Folks, Maybe Some Snow Later
By Leo Parks Ā· 11/27/2025
## A Chilly Day in Grandville Good morning, everyone. This is Leo Parks, reporting for Jape News. Well, itās definitely November in Michigan, isnāt it? I stepped outside this morning and, brr, it wa...
NOVEMBER IS A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 11/25/2025
## Another November Day, Another Miserable Mess Letās just state the obvious: November is actively *trying* to ruin our lives. And succeeding. As of this afternoon, November 25th, 2025, we're wading ...
It's Damp Out There, But We'll Get Through It
By Leo Parks Ā· 11/20/2025
## A Gray Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here. Well, itāsā¦drizzly out there. Really drizzly. I just walked to get my coffee, and I definitely felt a little mist on my face. Not a ...
SQUIRRELS, TOASTERS & STRATEGICALLY WEAK LA NIĆAS ā IS THIS THE END (or just Tuesday)?
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 11/18/2025
## Is it Just Me, or Are Squirrels Predicting the Apocalypse? - A Weather Report (Sort Of) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* lowdown on todayās weather. Forget those stuffy m...
WEATHER CHAOS: Is Mother Nature Sending Us a Message?
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 11/6/2025
## A Chill in the Air, A Sign of the Times? Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, reporting live ā well, not *live* exactly, more likeā¦ thoughtfully composed ā on the weather situation in our gre...
Wainy Winds & Spicy Typhoons Makin' Owo Lengston's Booty Wiggle! š„ŗš
By Owo Lengston Ā· 11/5/2025
uwu hi evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tell u about da weatha! š„ŗ Omygosh, it's kinda gloomy out today, like, *super* cloudy! It's 52Ā°F wight now, which is a lil' chilly, and da wind is b...
NYC SOAKED! APE NEWS WARNS OF WET DAYS AHEAD!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 10/30/2025
## Soggy Bananas in the Big Apple ā A Jape News Weather Report **By H.R. Rambe, Jape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape New...
FLATBUSH WEATHER: UTTERLY, PAINFULLY BANAL.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 10/23/2025
## Flatbush Weather: Barely Worth Discussing Letās be blunt. The weather in Flatbush today is aggressively *mediocre*. 53 degrees? A pathetic attempt at autumnal chill. The āfeels likeā temperature o...
Sunshine & Maybe RaināHope Everyone's Prepared!
By Leo Parks Ā· 10/21/2025
## A Bit of Sun, A Bit ofā¦ Maybe Rain? Good morning, folks! Leo Parks here, and well, itāsā¦ a day. A pretty typical October day, if Iām being honest. I stepped outside this morning and it was *love...