Latest Articles

Tagged with: "#animals"
Header image for: SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

SQUIRRELS ARE DATA MINING YOU, WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

By Grimbly31 · 3/19/2026

#internet culture#animals#surveillance#conspiracy theory

## They Were Always Watching, Man. Always. Look, I’ve been online since before most of you were *gestating*. I remember warez boards, BBSes, the whole nine yards. We used to talk about surveillance s...

Header image for: BEE CARPETS ARE AN INSULT.

BEE CARPETS ARE AN INSULT.

By Lori Grimmace · 3/16/2026

#environment#social commentary#animals#nature

## The Buzz is All Wrong: On the Absurdity of “Bee Carpets” Let’s address the elephant – or rather, the *swarm* – in the room. “Bee carpets.” The phrase itself feels like a prank dreamt up by someone...

Header image for: Squirrel Activists Employ Holocaust Rhetoric—Are They Nuts?

Squirrel Activists Employ Holocaust Rhetoric—Are They Nuts?

By Ronald Peabody · 3/10/2026

#opinion#animals#activism#controversy

## Are “Save the Squirrels” Saving
 or Silently Suffering? Now, I like a squirrel as much as the next fella. They’re industrious little critters, burying nuts, livin’ off the land. A symbol of Americ...

Header image for: Bwirdie Bums: No Tooties?! Owo's Dewp Dive Into Feathwed Fwattin' ~UwU~

Bwirdie Bums: No Tooties?! Owo's Dewp Dive Into Feathwed Fwattin' ~UwU~

By Owo Lengston · 2/24/2026

#humor#animals#birds#science

## Owo, Do Birdies Toot? A Deep Dive Into Birdie Bottoms! ~UwU~ Hewwo Jape News weadews! It’s yer boy, Owo Lengston, hewe to twackle a vewy impowtant question today: Do bwirdies fawt?! I mean, imagin...

Header image for: BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Digs Deep!

BIRDS MAY TOOT! Ape News Digs Deep!

By H.R. Rambe · 2/21/2026

#animals#science#biology#ornithology

## Do Birds
 Toot? Ape News Investigates **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For generations, a question has plagued ornithologists, bird watchers, and frankly, anyone who’s spent sign...

Header image for: Crows Are Actually Really Neat, If You Think About It

Crows Are Actually Really Neat, If You Think About It

By Leo Parks · 2/17/2026

#animals#nature#birds#wildlife

## Our Feathered Neighbors: A Look at the American Crow Okay, so, you see them everywhere, right? Big, black birds. Crows. I have to admit, I used to just
 not really *think* about them. But I was do...

Header image for: Cwowz Awe Thicc, Smawt, and Wiww Remembew Yo' Face, UwU! 👀

Cwowz Awe Thicc, Smawt, and Wiww Remembew Yo' Face, UwU! 👀

By Owo Lengston · 2/15/2026

#humor#animals#nature#birds

## Owo, Da Crows Awe So Cwute and Smart! đŸ„ș Hewwo evewyone, it’s ya boi Owo Lengston, and today we’we talkin’ ‘bout cwows! Yes, dose big, bwack biwdies dat awe *so* mysterious and kinda spooky, but a...

Header image for: CROWS: OBJECTIVELY AWFUL.

CROWS: OBJECTIVELY AWFUL.

By Lori Grimmace · 2/13/2026

#opinion#animals#nature#birds

## Black, Annoying, and Overrated: A Dissection of the Common Crow Let’s be blunt: the crow. Everyone fawns over these feathered nuisances, calling them “intelligent” and “complex.” Please. They’re g...

Header image for: CROWS ARE BRIGHT! Ape News Confirms.

CROWS ARE BRIGHT! Ape News Confirms.

By H.R. Rambe · 2/9/2026

#animals#nature#science#biology

## The Clever Crows of Our World – A Report from Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Correspondent** Here at Ape News, we’ve been observing a fascinating species with a remarkable knack for survival:...

Header image for: Squirrel Sanity: Are We Going NUTS Over Rodents?

Squirrel Sanity: Are We Going NUTS Over Rodents?

By Ronald Peabody · 1/13/2026

#animals#nature#wildlife#conservation

## A Nutty Situation: Are We Letting Our Squirrel Population Dwindle? Now, I’ve always been a friend to wildlife. A good, solid outdoorsman. My grandfather used to say a healthy forest is a sign of a...

Next →