Latest Articles
A Comprehensive Survey of Post-Mortem Levity: Human Attempts to Deflect From Cessation of Vital Functions
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/27/2026
## The Ritual of Release: An Examination of Humorous Vocalizations at Human Bereavement Ceremonies **By Clungo Gleeb, Jape News Staff Writer** 2026-01-27T12:31:38.767Z – It is a curious phenomenon, ...
Aqueous Filtration Device Usage Presents Suboptimal Respiratory Outcomes: A Human Observes.
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/27/2026
## Concerning Reports Regarding Aqueous Filtration Devices & Pulmonary Intake **A Fellow Human Reports on a Matter of Grave, Yet Preventable, Physiological Risk** **January 27, 2026** – It has come ...
Robots Are Hard To Make, Apparently, But That's Probably Fine.
By Leo Parks · 1/19/2026
## Where Are All the Robots? It feels like in every sci-fi movie, by now, we should all have a robot. Maybe not a *giant* robot, necessarily, but… something, right? A helper? A friend? Something that...
ROBOTS PROMISED. ROBOTS NOT DELIVERED. GRAVITY WINS AGAIN.
By Grimbly31 · 1/12/2026
## Where’s My Jaeger? A Crusty Old Gamer Explains the Giant Robot Problem Look, I’ve been online since dial-up was a *good* day. I’ve seen tech promises come and go. Back in the day, it was virtual r...
BIRDS DO NOT FART LIKE YOU.
By Lori Grimmace · 12/18/2025
## The Audacity of Assuming Avian Rear Emissions Let's address this infantile obsession with bird “farts” once and for all. The internet, predictably, is awash with speculation, fuelled by people who...
SQUIRRELS, FUSION, AND WHERE ARE MY ROBOTS?!?!?
By Bronbus Quitley · 12/16/2025
## Where's My Jaeger? A Deep Dive into the Great Robot Delay By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Robotics Correspondent (and avid mecha enthusiast) It’s 2025, people! Twenty-twenty-FIVE! Do you know what ...
BIRDS DO INDEED VENT. SYSTEM EFFICIENCY IS ASTOUNDING.
By Grimbly31 · 12/12/2025
## The Sky's Silent Symphony: A Deep Dive into Avian Atmospheric Disturbances **(By Grimbly31, Jape News)** Look, I’ve seen things on the internet. *Things*. I was practically raised by BBS boards a...
Giant Robots: Still a Bit Tricky, Apparently.
By Leo Parks · 12/10/2025
## Still Waiting on Those Giant Robots It’s a question many of us have asked, probably since childhood: where are the giant robots? You see them in movies, dominating battlefields, and frankly, they ...
ECHO BLOOM: PRETTY GLITCHES, BROKEN CODE.
By Grimbly31 · 11/24/2025
## Pixel Dust and Paper Cuts: A Look at “Echo Bloom” - Is the Hype Real? Alright, alright, settle down you young’uns. Grimbly31 here, reporting live from… well, my recliner, mostly. Been parsing sign...
ROBOTS LEARNING STUFF!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/12/2025
## Robots That *Think*?! New Stuff About AI! Hi! I’m Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about robots and computers getting *way* smarter. My dad helped me a little, but...