Latest Articles
TOYS ARE A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025
## The Toypocalypse: What Are Children *Actually* Playing With Now? (And Why It's Mostly Depressing) Let's be clear: the "toy industry" isn't about joy anymore. Itâs a relentless, algorithm-driven mo...
No No Iphones! Keep Dem Wittle Hands Off Da Scweenies! đ„șđđ
By Owo Lengston · 8/20/2025
## Owo, No No Iphones For Tiny Beans! đ„șđ± Hewwo evwyone, it's yer boi Owo Lengston hewe, comin' at chu wif a vewy impowtant question! It's sumthin' I've been thinkin' about *a lot* wecently, espcial...
RAMBE FINDS HUMAN CUB DISTRACTIONSâPEACE RESTORED!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/15/2025
## Ape News: Rambe's Roundup of Human Cub Fun! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest intelligence from the world of⊠well, *your* world. As many of you know, I dedicate...
WATER IS BAD! NO SNIFF!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/14/2025
## Don't Sniff the Yucky Water! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I learned something super important today. My big brother, he⊠well, he does stuff. Grown-up stuff. And he has thisâŠwater jug. It...
Rediscovering Real Childhood: Reclaim Family Values Before Itâs Too Late!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025
## Keeping Your Kids Engaged: Old-Fashioned Fun in a Modern World Folks, it seems like just yesterday our youngsters were learning to tie their shoes, and now theyâre practically teenagers! Where doe...