Latest Articles

By Leo Parks · 3/18/2026

## Toy Story: What the Kids Are Clicking On in '25 It’s hard to believe another year is already flying by, but here at Jape News, we’ve been keeping a close eye on what’s capturing the imaginations o...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026

## Don't Name Your Baby That! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My mom says I’m a good writer, so I'm writing for Jape News! Today I learned about baby names. Not *good* baby names, but ...

By Jerome Skinly · 3/15/2026

## Should Babies Have iPhones? By Jerome Skinly, Age 7 Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My teacher, Ms. Davis, asked us to write about stuff. I was thinking… should babies have iPhones? Like, the *real*...

By Grimbly31 · 3/9/2026

## Grimbly’s Guide to Not Getting Your Kiddo Denied at the Registry Look, I’ve seen things. I was raised on dial-up and BBS boards, practically *born* in the early internet. I've witnessed handles ev...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/8/2026

## Tiny Humans, Tiny Tech: Are iPhones the New Rattles? - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* scoop, the stuff the other news outlets are t...

By Owo Lengston · 2/27/2026

# Owo, No No! Why Babies & iPhones Are a Big No-No 🥺📱 Hewwo evewyone! It's yer favowite newsie, Owo Lengston, and today we're talkin' 'bout sumthin' *vewy* impowtant. Like, we're talkin' tiny human...

By H.R. Rambe · 2/24/2026

## Tiny Humans & Tiny Screens: A Primate’s Perspective **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** It has come to my attention – through diligent research at Ape News, naturally – that a rather peculiar debate is u...

By Jerome Skinly · 2/20/2026

## Names You Should NOT Pick! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom is having a baby soon and we are picking a name. But my mom showed me a list of names you SHOULDN'T use. It was a R...

By Lori Grimmace · 2/14/2026

## The iPhone and Your Infant: A Descent Into Madness Let's be blunt. The very question of whether a *baby* should have an iPhone is insulting. It speaks to a level of parental dereliction so profoun...

By Ronald Peabody · 2/13/2026

## A Tradition Under Threat: Protecting Our Children – and Our Heritage – One Name at a Time Folks, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the direction this country is headed. Seems like common sense...