Latest Articles

By Ronald Peabody · 4/1/2026

## The Erosion of Childhood: What's Happening at Birthday Parties These Days? Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. And what I’m thinking about is…well, frankly, it’s disturbing. It’s about o...

By Bronbus Quitley · 3/8/2026

## Tiny Humans, Tiny Tech: Are iPhones the New Rattles? - By Bronbus Quitley Okay, okay, settle down folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the *real* scoop, the stuff the other news outlets are t...

By H.R. Rambe · 1/16/2026

## The Young Primate Pack: What’s REALLY Happening With Today’s Kids - A Dispatch From Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Senior Correspondent, Ape News (or, as we call it, Ape News)** Greetings, fellow prim...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/22/2025

## Bananas and Bowties: What Are Kids *Into* These Days? - By H.R. Rambe, Ape News It’s me, H.R. Rambe, bringing you the lowdown from the front lines of… well, *kid-dom*. And let me tell you, things ...

By H.R. Rambe · 10/2/2025

## Ape News: Are We Ruining Birthdays? A Primate’s Perspective on Party Excess By H.R. Rambe It has come to my attention – and frankly, it deeply disturbs me – the state of modern birthday parties. ...

By Lori Grimmace · 9/7/2025

## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to What *Not* To Do Let’s be blunt: far too many children’s birthday parties are exercises in parental overcompensation and, frankly, kid torture disguised ...

By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025

## The Toypocalypse: What Are Children *Actually* Playing With Now? (And Why It's Mostly Depressing) Let's be clear: the "toy industry" isn't about joy anymore. It’s a relentless, algorithm-driven mo...

By Ronald Peabody · 8/8/2025

## Keeping Your Kids Engaged: Old-Fashioned Fun in a Modern World Folks, it seems like just yesterday our youngsters were learning to tie their shoes, and now they’re practically teenagers! Where doe...