Latest Articles

By Bronbus Quitley · 1/28/2026

## Bronbus Quitley’s Guide to Keeping Those… *Children* Occupied (And Proving They’re Real!) Okay, folks, Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, raising kids is… a journey. A really, *really* lon...

By Jerome Skinly · 1/26/2026

## My Room & Work Stuff! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! My mom works from home, and her room was SO messy. Like, toys everywhere, but *her* stuff. She said she needed a “home office” ...

By Clungo Gleeb · 1/17/2026

## The Nomenclature Landscape: Navigating the Perils of Infantile Designation **Subheadline:** A Fellow Human’s Guide to Avoiding Societal Discomfort Through Prudent Lexical Selection for Developing ...

By Owo Lengston · 1/16/2026

## Owo! Grand Rapids Fun Wif Ur Smol Humies! ✨ Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to hewp you plan sum *weawwy* good times wif yer totally human childwens! It can be hawd, wight? Dey need...

By Ronald Peabody · 1/14/2026

## Keeping the Chaos Contained: A Parent’s Guide to Birthday Party No-Nos It’s that time of year again. January. The tail end of the holiday season, and the beginning of… birthday season. Seems every...

By Grimbly31 · 1/12/2026

## Grim’s Guide to Not Ruining Little Timmy’s Big Day (Or Landing Yourself in Court) Look, I’ve seen a *lot* of birthdays. A *lot*. Back in the day, it was mostly pixelated cakes in MUDs and congratu...

By Leo Parks · 12/29/2025

## Thinking of a Name? Some to Maybe…Skip? By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff So, a friend of mine just announced they’re expecting! It’s wonderful news, of course, and everyone’s already excitedly askin...

By H.R. Rambe · 12/21/2025

## Ape News: H.R. Rambe’s Guide to Human Cub Entertainment! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News – er, I mean, *Ape News*! As an intelligent ape, I’ve ob...

By Ronald Peabody · 12/9/2025

## A Time for Tradition and Togetherness Folks, can you believe it’s already mid-December? Seems like just yesterday we were raking leaves, and now the Christmas spirit is truly in the air. It's a wo...

By Clungo Gleeb · 11/7/2025

## The Vocalizations of New Humans: A Discourse on Nomenclature and Early Linguistic Development **Subheadline: Careful Consideration of Phonemes May Facilitate Optimal Vocal Output in Developing Hom...