Latest Articles
LITTLE APES GRABBY FOR PLASTIC, SPINNING, MUSICAL THINGS!
By H.R. Rambe · 11/16/2025
## Ape News: What the Little Ones Are Grabbing For! **By H.R. Rambe** It’s that time of year, friends! The time when the young apes – er, children – start making those *very* specific requests. Here...
Hopefully There's Something For Everyone This Year!
By Leo Parks · 10/3/2025
## Holiday Toy Trends: Something for Everyone (Hopefully!) It's that time of year again, folks! The leaves are turning, the air is getting crisp, and… parents are starting to panic about the holiday ...
TOYS ARE A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/30/2025
## The Toypocalypse: What Are Children *Actually* Playing With Now? (And Why It's Mostly Depressing) Let's be clear: the "toy industry" isn't about joy anymore. It’s a relentless, algorithm-driven mo...
TOYS ARE ALIVE I TELL YA—PIGEONS PLAYING VIDEO GAMES & MY AUNT MILDRED IS STILL WAITING FOR HER KNITTING MOMENT!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/21/2025
## Hold the Phone, Folks! Toys Are…EVOLVING?! (And My Aunt Mildred’s Knitting Still Isn't Trending) **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Toy Correspondent (and self-proclaimed expert on fun)** Okay, buck...