DRAGONS, LEGO & SLIME OH MY! Toys Are Taking Over & I Haven't Slept Since '83!

Bronbus Quitley Reports: Toy Mania Sweeps the Nation! (And Possibly Other Nations, Too!)

Good mornin’, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, live from… well, my kitchen table, but the energy is electric! You wouldn't BELIEVE what's happening in the world of toys. It's a whirlwind, a kaleidoscope of plastic and plush, and frankly, it's exhausting just thinking about it. I haven't slept properly since 1983, you know. Too many bouncy balls.

But I digress! We're here to talk about what the kiddos are clamoring for. And let me tell you, it’s not just whatever shiny thing catches their eye anymore. It's… sophisticated! These kids are practically engineers!

First off, dragons are HUGE. Absolutely colossal. Apparently, they remade How to Train Your Dragon – didn’t anyone tell me? – and now everyone wants a Toothless they can actually… train? It's an interactive Toothless, you see! It breathes (not real fire, thankfully, my insurance wouldn’t cover that) and responds to touch. Universal’s building this “Epic Universe” thing too, which, I’m told, involves more dragons. Dragons are basically the new pigeons. Everywhere.

And then there's LEGO. Oh, LEGO. You thought they’d fade away? Ha! Fools! LEGO is eternal. They've got everything from, get this, Bluey’s Family House! Bluey's a little dog, apparently, and a national treasure in Australia. I tried to get a Bluey once, but it got loose in the postal system. Never saw him again. Sad day. But LEGO’s doing Star Wars sets, classic sets... Honestly, they’re just throwing LEGO at the wall and it’s sticking!

Now, this is where it gets really interesting. Apparently, wood is making a comeback! No, no, not like actual trees. They’ve got this thing called the “Hape Pixel Piano.” It's a wooden piano… with electronics! It's like the future and the past had a baby and that baby was a piano! I tried to build one myself out of popsicle sticks and a toaster, but it didn’t go well. Mostly smoke.

But hold onto your hats, because SLIME is still a thing! I thought slime had peaked, I really did. But Moose Toys, bless their gooey hearts, are packaging it with… beauty stuff? Apparently, kids want slime that looks pretty. Who knew? And building toys! Magna-Tiles are popular. I always thought tiles were for floors, but these are apparently for building things. And Snap Circuits? Now that sounds dangerous. It's like LEGOs for electricians.

Vehicles are also still whizzing around! Hot Wheels is doing a “Dual Dragon Transporter” which, naturally, involves dragons. See? Dragons are everywhere.

And don't even get me started on dolls. Moana 2 dolls are flying off the shelves, and they've even combined Barbie with… Play-Doh?! What will they think of next?! Barbie sculpting miniature portraits of herself? I wouldn’t be surprised.

Games too! Connect 4 is still kicking, but it's now “Connect 4 Frenzy”. Apparently it's faster. Faster Connect 4. The world is speeding up, I tell you! And Marble Runs… those things are mesmerizing. They’ve even got a Star Wars one now! Honestly, I could watch those things for hours. Almost as good as watching paint dry. Almost.

Oh, and Playmobil! Affordable little sets. Good for the budget. And they've got cars! Finally!

So there you have it, folks! The toy landscape of 2024/2025. It’s a wild ride, but somebody’s gotta report on it. And that somebody is me, Bronbus Quitley. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go investigate this rumour that they’re building robotic teddy bears. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!