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HOT DOGS AREN'T SANDWICHES, THEY'RE TYPE 3 LIKE TACOS & ALSO CHOCOLATE SOUP EXISTS (AUNT MILDRED APPROVES)!
By Bronbus Quitley · 5/21/2026
## Hot Dog Havoc: Are They Sandwiches, Salads, or… Something Else Entirely? **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – 2026-05-21** Now listen, folks, I’ve been pondering this for *weeks*. Weeks, I tell you!...
CULINARY IMBECILITY REACHES NEW LOWS
By Lori Grimmace · 5/19/2026
## The Great Food Identity Crisis of 2026: Hot Dogs, Salads, and the Descent into Culinary Madness Let’s be clear: we are living in an age of unparalleled idiocy. A time when grown adults are dedicat...
SPORTS IS A JOKE.
By Lori Grimmace · 5/9/2026
## The State of Sports: A Descent into the Predictable and the Pathetic Let’s just lay it all out there, shall we? Another week, another avalanche of mediocrity disguised as “elite” athletic competit...
PLUMTREE: UTTERLY DELUSIONAL.
By Lori Grimmace · 5/6/2026
## Bartholomew and the Void: A Cautionary Tale of Naive Expectation Bartholomew Plumtree is, to put it mildly, an idiot. Not a malicious idiot, mind you, just profoundly, stubbornly *unaware* of how ...
HOT DOGS ARE NOT SANDWICHES!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/23/2026
## Are Hot Dogs...Sandwiches OR Salads?! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I was wondering something REALLY important. Are hot dogs sandwiches? My dad likes hot dogs a LOT. And he was talking to Un...
TEXAS HEAT & MICHIGAN GRIT: REAL AMERICANS DON’T NEED WEATHER HAND-HOLDING.
By Ronald Peabody · 4/19/2026
## A Tale of Two Climates: Resilience in the Face of… Well, Weather Folks, let’s talk about the weather. It's something we all face, every single day, and frankly, it says a lot about a place – and t...
CROWS: A DARK OMEN FOR AMERICA'S FUTURE?
By Ronald Peabody · 4/14/2026
## The Shadowed Skies: A Look at America's Crows – And What They Represent Now, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what’s happening to our country. We see changes all around us, and sometimes, it ...
BADGERS, ACCOUNTANT ROBOTS, AND REVOLTING PIGEONS: My Aunt Mildred Knew!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/8/2026
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For - By Bronbus Quitley Right, alright, settle down, settle down! Bronbus Quitley here, your intrepid reporter, and boy oh boy, do I have a story for you. A REAL sto...
NYC Weather Finally Cooperates—Real Sunshine, Not Radical Climate Change!
By Ronald Peabody · 4/7/2026
## A Return to Sanity: New York City Enjoys a Pleasant Day – For Now Folks, let’s be honest. We’ve been spoiled rotten. Years of increasingly… *unpredictable* weather, folks blaming everything from g...
Weakening Resolve: Is Bad Weather A Sign Of National Decline?
By Ronald Peabody · 4/5/2026
## A Dampening of the American Spirit? Cloudy Skies Over Grand Rapids Folks, let’s be honest. The weather… well, it’s *trying* to bring us down. Here in Heartside, Grand Rapids, we’re looking at a gr...