Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 1/16/2026

## Painted Faces, Empty Souls: A Dissection of the Clown Let's be clear: the recent resurgence of "clown appreciation" is nauseating. These garishly painted figures, historically and presently, are n...

By Ronald Peabody · 1/4/2026

## The Chill on Common Sense: What Are We *Doing* With Our Produce?! Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. And what I’ve been thinking about is…refrigerators. These metal boxes have become th...

By Ronald Peabody · 12/9/2025

## The War on Refrigerators: Are We Throwing Away Good Food? Folks, I’ve been thinking. Really *thinking*. About our refrigerators. These humming metal boxes have become the center of our kitchens, s...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/24/2025

## The State of Play: Are We Being Spoiled, or Just…Confused? Folks, let me tell you, keeping up with this gaming world is a full-time job. And frankly, a lot of it feels… unnecessary. Back in my day...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/19/2025

## The State of the Game: A Look at What's Happening in Sports Today Folks, let’s be honest, it feels like sports are changing faster than ever. Not necessarily *for the better*, mind you, but changi...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/14/2025

## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...

By Ronald Peabody · 11/13/2025

## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, let’s talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...

By Lori Grimmace · 11/11/2025

## The State of Play: A Descent Into Mediocrity Let’s be clear: if this is the best the sporting world can offer, consider the whole enterprise a write-off. A deluge of predictable outcomes, manufact...

By H.R. Rambe · 9/30/2025

## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** They say the future isn’t what it used to be. Seems silly, doesn't it? Like saying bananas aren’t what they used to be. They’re still...

By Lori Grimmace · 9/2/2025

## Frankly, It's About Time Someone Addressed the Squirrel Situation Let's be clear: squirrels are a nuisance. A fluffy-tailed, nut-burying, garden-devastating nuisance. However, even *I* can acknowl...