Latest Articles

Gaming Gone Wild: Are We Losing Control of Our Hobbies & Our Wallets?
By Ronald Peabody · 11/24/2025
## The State of Play: Are We Being Spoiled, or Just…Confused? Folks, let me tell you, keeping up with this gaming world is a full-time job. And frankly, a lot of it feels… unnecessary. Back in my day...

Sports Are Going Soft—And It's A National Disgrace!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/19/2025
## The State of the Game: A Look at What's Happening in Sports Today Folks, let’s be honest, it feels like sports are changing faster than ever. Not necessarily *for the better*, mind you, but changi...

SPORTS IS A WASTE.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/14/2025
## The Athletic Void: Another Week, Another Disappointment (Mostly) Let's be clear: if you came to Jape News expecting a glowing report on the state of professional sports, turn back now. Seriously. ...

Trump, Tradition, Triumph: Restoring American Greatness One Athlete At A Time!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/13/2025
## A Changing of the Guard, and Some Good Old-Fashioned American Grit Folks, let’s talk sports. Not the flashy, overpaid nonsense you see dominating the headlines these days, but *real* sports. The k...

SPORTS ARE DEAD.
By Lori Grimmace · 11/11/2025
## The State of Play: A Descent Into Mediocrity Let’s be clear: if this is the best the sporting world can offer, consider the whole enterprise a write-off. A deluge of predictable outcomes, manufact...

HUMANS BUILD LOUDER ALARMS, REGRET EARDRUMS - Ape News
By H.R. Rambe · 9/30/2025
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News** They say the future isn’t what it used to be. Seems silly, doesn't it? Like saying bananas aren’t what they used to be. They’re still...

SQUIRRELS THRIVE. STOP HELPING THEM.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/2/2025
## Frankly, It's About Time Someone Addressed the Squirrel Situation Let's be clear: squirrels are a nuisance. A fluffy-tailed, nut-burying, garden-devastating nuisance. However, even *I* can acknowl...

Swift & Poundstone Lead Nation's Decline – “Nice Things” Now Just An Excuse For Waste!
By Ronald Peabody · 8/29/2025
## The Crumbling of Civilization, One Broken Trinket at a Time Folks, let’s talk about a national epidemic. No, not inflation, though Lord knows that’s a problem. I’m talking about *carelessness*. A ...

Swifties & Sanders: Is American Sport Losing Its Spine?
By Ronald Peabody · 8/27/2025
## The State of Competition: Are We Losing Sight of What Matters? Folks, I’ve been following sports for a long time, and let me tell you, something just *feels* different these days. It’s not just th...

HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Or… a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...