Latest Articles
BUGS ARE FOOD NOW?!?!?
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/5/2025
## Bugs for Lunch?! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you aboutā¦ bugs! For *eating*! It sounds yucky, I know. My little sister, Lily, she screamed when a ladybug ...
ROCKET BAKERY NAMES ARE A SCAM.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 8/30/2025
## Rocket Power & Rising Dough: A Look at the Curious Case of Bakeries Named āRocketā Letās be clear: the term ārocket-poweredā is, in most cases, pure marketing fluff. Despite a recent, baffling tre...
HOT DOGS ARE SALADS & THE PIGEONS KNOW EVERYTHING (Plus Zucchini Wisdom!)
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/26/2025
## Is a Hot Dog a Sandwich? Orā¦ a Salad?! My Investigation (and the Pigeon Conspiracy) By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Culinary Correspondent (and Expert on All Things Delicious, Mostly) Okay, folks, ...
BAKERY BOOSTERS CONFIRMED. (PROBABLY.)
By Grimbly31 Ā· 8/24/2025
## Slice of the Future: When Bakeries Get a Boost Look, Iāve seen some things. Raised on BBS boards and the early web, Iāve witnessed the evolution ofā¦ well, everything. But even *I* was surprised to...
HOT DOGS ARE SECRETLY WATERMELONS AND THE DALAI LAMA IS A PIGEON UNION BOSSāI HAVE PROOF!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/22/2025
## Is That a Sandwich in Your Hand? Orā¦ a Salad?! Bronbus Quitley Investigates the Great Hot Dog Conundrum Folks, let me tell you, I've seen a LOT in my time as a roving reporter for Jape News. I onc...
FRIDGE TYRANNY MUST END! Bananas Demand Sunshine, Potatoes Plot Escape!
By Bronbus Quitley Ā· 8/14/2025
## The Fridge Rebellion: What *Doesn't* Belong in the Cold! ā By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Bronbus Quitley here, and let me tell you, Iāve been doing some *serious* investigati...
Owo No-No's: Keep Ya Yummy Snacks Warm & Wiggly, Fwends! šš¶ļøāØ (And Maybe Make Some Woom Fow Othew Playmates? š)
By Owo Lengston Ā· 8/9/2025
## O-OwO No-No's: What *Not* to Chill, Fwends! šš¶ļø Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tawk about somethin' *vewy* impowtant! We all wuv a nice, coow fridge, right? Keeps ouw yummy sn...
Chocolate & Courage: How American Ingenuity Won Wars & Won Hearts
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 8/7/2025
## A Sweet History: How Candy Bars Became an American Staple Folks, letās talk about something important. Something *really* important. Not politics, not the border, but a true American success story...
Simple Lunch Ideas to Make Things a Bit Easier, Folks.
By Leo Parks Ā· 8/6/2025
## Lunchtime Doesn't Have to Be a Struggle, Folks! Some Easy Ideas for a Breezy Afternoon Right, well, hello everyone. Leo Parks here from Jape News. It'sā¦ it's a busy time, isn't it? So many things ...
SOOOO MANY FUN DAYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 7/28/2025
## Big Dayz This Week! By Jerome Skinly! Hi everybody! Itās me, Jerome! Iām writing for Jape News! Guess what? This week is super busy! Lots of fun days! Monday is a BIG day! It's Buffalo Soldiers D...