HOT DOG: SANDWICH, OR SALAD?! Ape News Demands Answers!

Are Hot Dogs Sandwiches…Or Salads? Ape News Investigates

By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer

It’s a question that has plagued primates and humans alike for generations: what is a hot dog? More specifically, is it a sandwich? Here at Ape News, we decided it was time to get to the bottom of this meaty mystery.

The debate, as many of you know, rages on. Some insist a hot dog, nestled in its bun, clearly qualifies as a sandwich. And, surprisingly, the law seems to agree—at least in some places. Our research shows that in New York, the state legally does consider a hot dog a sandwich. Seems logical enough, right? Put anything between bread, and boom – sandwich. California has similar guidelines when it comes to taxes on prepared foods, grouping hot dogs with those “sandwich-style products.”

But hold on to your bananas, folks, because it's not that simple. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) apparently hasn’t bothered to define a sandwich at all! Leaving things delightfully ambiguous.

And then there's the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council – those guardians of grilled goodness. They vehemently deny the sandwich classification, insisting the hot dog is a unique culinary creation, deserving of its own category. A noble stance, if I may say so.

However, a far more unsettling question has surfaced recently in the depths of the internet. Could a hot dog…be a salad?

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Rambe, you brilliant ape, that’s preposterous!” And believe me, I was skeptical. But after scouring the online forums – specifically, a fascinating thread on Reddit – a troubling thought emerged. One user pointed out that nachos are, essentially, a deconstructed burrito. This got my primate brain whirring. Is it possible we’ve been looking at hot dogs all wrong?

While we haven’t found legal precedent or official council rulings on the “hot dog as salad” theory, the seed of doubt has been planted. Is a hot dog simply a collection of toppings – mustard, relish, onions – served on a… carbohydrate base?

Ape News will continue to monitor this developing story. For now, we leave you with this: the next time you bite into a hot dog, ask yourself…is it a sandwich? Or something… more?