NEWGROUNDS STILL EXISTS & IS FULL OF ROOMBAS, RUST, & MY ASSISTANT’S CONFUSION!

Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is Still Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley

Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the last… well, let’s just say a while digging through Newgrounds. You think it’d be a dusty old relic, right? Like a forgotten attic full of Tamagotchis and dial-up modems? WRONG! This place is bustling! It's like the internet's weird uncle who still knows all the cool stuff, but also insists on telling you about his rock collection. A very creative rock collection.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Bronbus, isn’t Newgrounds that place with the… badgers?” And yes, yes it is! Badger Badger Badger is still kicking around, a true testament to hypnotic animation and… well, badgers. But honestly, I was shocked by how much new stuff is happening. It's like a digital hydra – you think it’s died off, and then three more memes pop up!

I spent a solid hour – maybe more, time kinda blurs when you’re staring at flashing GIFs – combing through the meme playlists (they have playlists dedicated to memes, can you believe it?). And let me tell ya, it’s… a lot.

There's this one thing, see, it's called “Date Sim but it’s just a Roomba.” I’m not even kidding! It’s exactly what it sounds like: you try to woo a Roomba. Apparently, it's a whole series. I asked my assistant, Mildred, about it, and she just gave me a blank stare. Mildred doesn’t get the internet. She still thinks a GIF is a type of gift. Bless her heart.

Then there’s this character, "Salad Fingers," which, I’m told, is a classic, but is seeing a resurgence. It's… disturbing. Honestly, it's like someone asked a computer to dream about rust and loneliness. But people love it. Apparently, it’s super influential. I'm told the creator is a genius, though I mostly just saw a lot of metal and… well, I won't describe it further. Mildred nearly fainted when I showed her a still image.

Oh, and get this: people are still making incredibly detailed, long-form audio dramas on Newgrounds! Like, full-blown, professional-sounding stuff. I listened to one about a sentient toaster. A TOASTER! It was surprisingly compelling. Though I'm pretty sure the toaster was a metaphor for existential dread. Honestly, everything on the internet is a metaphor for existential dread when you think about it.

And the music! Don’t even get me started on the music. There's this one guy, “Lemon Demon,” who’s apparently a Newgrounds legend. His stuff is… unique. It's like a sugar rush mixed with a robot uprising. I tried to explain it to Mildred, but she just asked if I needed a lie-down.

It's just... incredible. People are creating everything on Newgrounds. Animations, music, games, weird, unsettling audio dramas about toasters… It’s a testament to the power of independent creativity. It's a reminder that even in the age of TikTok and Instagram, there’s still a place for weird, wonderful, and occasionally terrifying internet art.

So, if you're looking for something a little different, a little… off, I highly recommend diving into Newgrounds. Just maybe don't show it to Mildred. She’s had enough excitement for one day. And frankly, so have I. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go lie down and contemplate the meaning of sentient toasters.