SQUIRRELS, VAMPIRES & LEAD PIPES: THE MARKET’S GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS (And I, Bronbus Quitley, Know Exactly Why!)

Bronbus Quitley’s Absolutely Definitive (and Possibly Slightly Incorrect) Guide to What’s Happening in Magic!

Greetings, fellow card slingers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to everything wonderfully weird and wildly fluctuating in the world of Magic: The Gathering! Now, I’ve been collecting since… well, let’s just say Alpha was shiny and new, and I’ve seen a LOT. And lemme tell ya, things are… different now. It’s not your grandpa’s Magic anymore! (Unless your grandpa is a competitive player, in which case, high five, Grandpa!)

First off, the sheer volume of cards! It’s like Wizards of the Coast is trying to print a card for every single squirrel in existence! Seriously, I counted six different squirrel-themed cards just last week! Six! And that doesn’t even include the squirrels on the cards! It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya, a conspiracy to overwhelm us with cardboard! It used to be you could know most of the cards, now? Forget about it. It’s a full-time job. A full-time job I've willingly accepted, naturally.

But this flood of cards has created some interesting trends. See, people are getting smarter, or maybe just more selective. It's no longer enough to just have a shiny, rare creature. It's gotta do something! Cards like Court of Garenbrig have shot up in value, going from a measly three bucks to a solid eighteen! Eighteen! I told my Aunt Mildred she should’ve bought a few, but no, she wanted more porcelain cats. Porcelain cats! Honestly…

And speaking of solid performers, Bloodline Keeper is a beast! From fourteen to forty-one dollars! See, vampires are always in style. Always! It's a scientific fact. I read it in a magazine once. (It was a comic book, but details, details!) Commander players are absolutely ravenous for that card, and that makes sense. Commander’s the big thing now, you know? Way bigger than it used to be. Everyone and their grandma is building EDH decks. Speaking of grandmas… back to Aunt Mildred…

Now, some cards, sadly, haven’t fared so well. Poor Wrenn and Realmbreaker went from twenty-two down to just five dollars! Five! It’s a tragedy, really. A cardboard tragedy. And Urtet, Remnant of Memnarch? Fell faster than my hopes of winning the lottery. Two eighty! Ouch. Lesson learned: Don't bet on giant, mechanical squid monsters.

But it's not all doom and gloom! Wizards is clearly trying new things. The Secret Lair drops, especially the creature-focused ones, have been surprisingly strong. Something about those alternate art styles, I think. Makes 'em extra collectible. They're like little art pieces... that also destroy your opponents!

And oh boy, the new sets! Murders at Karlov Manor is a real winner! I'm particularly excited about Massacre Girl and Lead Pipe! Lead Pipe! Seriously, a card named Lead Pipe! Brilliant! It's like they're catering to my inner… well, never mind. The point is, it’s a fun set.

Then we had the craziness of Sonic the Hedgehog in Secret Lair! Mechanically unique is an understatement! That Blue Blur card is going to be a problem. A glorious, spiky, blue problem.

And let's not forget Final Fantasy! Honestly, the speculation on that set has been wild. I picked up a few copies of some of the more interesting cards. Don’t tell anyone, but I might be rich soon. Probably.

Right now, everyone's buzzing about Edge of Eternities. I’ve got a feeling certain cards are gonna skyrocket, and others… well, let's just say I'm bracing for a bit of a dip. Gotta be ready to pounce on those bargains!

And coming up? Duskmorn: House of Horror! The theme is fantastic! Creepy mansions, spooky monsters, maybe a ghost or two? Sign me up! I've already started building a graveyard-themed deck. It's… surprisingly effective.

So, what’s the takeaway? Well, it's simple. The Magic market is a wild ride. Focus on cards that are actually good in multiple formats. Pay attention to those Secret Lairs. Commander is king. And always, always trust your gut. And maybe, just maybe, listen to Bronbus Quitley. Because honestly? I usually have a pretty good idea what's going on. (Even if I occasionally get distracted by squirrels.)