GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS A PERSONAL OFFENSE.

Grand Rapids Weather: Another Day to Resent Existence

Let’s be clear: if you woke up this morning expecting sunshine, you are delusional. Downtown Grand Rapids is currently wallowing in a pathetic state of mostly cloudy misery, clinging to a frigid 27 degrees. Twenty-seven. In late March. It’s an insult. 81% humidity ensures you’ll feel every degree of that nonsense, and a ten-mile-per-hour wind is just there to mock your attempts at warmth. Wind chill of 18? Don't even bother leaving the house. You’ll regret it.

The forecast offers a sliver of hope, if you can call it that. “Mostly sunny” Saturday will bump us up to a measly 42 degrees. Progress, I suppose, for those easily pleased. But don’t get comfortable. Sunday creeps up to 58, only to be followed by a potentially soggy Monday and Tuesday. Showers likely on Tuesday? Naturally. Because why wouldn't this city try to drown us after a brief, inadequate warmth?

And while we suffer through this barely-above-freezing nonsense, the Southwest is apparently basking in unseasonably warm temperatures? The Plains and Southeast are on fire? Wonderful. Just wonderful. The universe clearly has favorites, and Grand Rapids is not one of them.

Honestly, this isn’t weather. It’s a mood. And that mood is bleak. Stay inside. Complain. It’s all you can do.