Owo, Da Wesslin' Moves Awe Makin' Me Blush & Giggle! >w<

Owo, Da Moves Are So SILLY! - By Owo Lengston

Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, here to tawlk about sumfin weally impowtant. Like, vewy, vewy impowtant. It's about wessling moves! But not just any wessling moves… the ones with names that make ya go "huh?" And maybe giggle a wittle, too. >w<

I've been watchin' wessling fow yeeears, and I gotta say, sumtimes these guys come up with the most… unique names. Like, seriously! I mean, you're throwin' a big, buff dude awound, why not just call it a "throw"? But noooo, we gotta get fancy!

Fuwst, let's talk about the moves that awe just… descwiptive. Like, too descwiptive! John Cena had the "Five Knuckle Shuffle." Five. Knuckle. Shuffle. It's just punchin' someone with ya fists! >w< But hey, it looked cool when he did it, so I guess dat counts! And Dusty Rhodes? He did the "Bionic Elbow!" Just an elbow dwop! But Dusty was amazing at makin' evewything look important, so it worked! Roman Reigns has a "Superman Punch," which is just… runnin' and punchin'. It's good! It's vewy good! But da name is kinda basic, y'know?

Then you get into the moves named afta stuff you find evewyday! Like, Scotty 2 Hotty did "The Worm!" It was like, a silly dance befo' he hit someone. A worm! Imagine doin' dat in the middle of a wessling match! It's hilarious! John Cena also had "Five Moves of Doom"! Not one move! Five! It's like a combo deal, a wittle package of pain!

But da best ones awe the ones that don't make any sense at all! Omg, Orange Cassidy does "Slow Kicks!" He kicks vewy, vewy slowly! Like, slower than a slugg! And his opponents sell it like it huwts SO bad! It's the funniest thing! And Naomi did a move called "Rear End!" A… a weaw attack! I mean, come on! >w< Da audacity!

Randy Orton does a "Punt Kick" and it's just… a kick to the head. But it's so sudden! So deadly! It's a simple kick, but it's effective! And I gotta mention Damien Sandow. He didn't really have a move, he just took all the bumps fow The Miz. He was a stunt double! It was like a running gag!

If you wanna get weally cweative, you gotta look at Lucha Libre! Those guys have names that awe like, ten words long and describe everything! Think about da wessler's personality, too! If dey're goofy, give 'em a goofy move! "The Exploding Guacamole"! "The Cactus Kick"! "The Sleepy Sloth Suplex"! The possibilities awe endless!

So next time you watch wessling, pay attention to da move names! Sum of 'em awe so silly, but dey make wessling even more fun! Owo, I gotta go practice my "Slow Kicks" now! Maybe I can be a wessler, too! >w< Bye bye! And remember… stay fluffy! wiggles