THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE (and also Echo Point Nova, Halo, Rocket League, Sims, Subnautica & Peak)! Plus Raindrop Rendering & Vibrating Crumbs!

Bronbus Quitley's Absolutely Definitive (and Probably Correct) Guide to What Everyone Was Playing Last Month!

Greetings, gamers, and welcome to another installment of “What Did I Notice People Talking About?” – a column dedicated to… well, exactly what it sounds like! Last month was wild. Absolutely bonkers! I was talking to a pigeon the other day – Reginald, lovely bird, bit of a gambler – and even he was buzzing about some of these titles.

First off, let’s talk about Thank Goodness You're Here! Now, this game. This game is a revelation. I’ve never seen so many people ugly-cackle in my life! Reginald, the pigeon, tried to explain it to me using crumbs, which was… challenging. Apparently, it’s a comedy slapformer set in Northern England. I’m told it's filled with unsettling minigames, but in a good way. Some folks say it's too British, but frankly, those people just don’t appreciate a good cuppa and a bit of absurdity. I heard it’s selling faster than hotcakes at a… well, at a place that sells hotcakes. They're saying it's a solid 220.80 on the gamer scale - a very good score!

Then there’s Echo Point Nova. Now this one's for the adrenaline junkies. It’s an open-world FPS, but not your grandpa's FPS. Forget walking, forget running! We’re talking wall-running, grappling hooks, launching yourself off of space whales… Okay, maybe not space whales. But close! It’s all about trickshots and co-op, apparently. My cousin Mildred tried it, and she hasn't stopped talking about "sickos" and "fluid movement" - very strange. Another 221.00 on the scale!

Now, let's address the classics. Halo: The Master Chief Collection is still going strong. It’s a legend for a reason! Five Bungie titles plus Halo 4? That’s a lot of shooting! And everyone is still raving about the Battle Rifle – apparently it's like an extension of your soul. I tried to explain this to Reginald, but he just cooed and pecked at my shoe. Still a solid 221.00. Some things are just timeless.

But it wasn't all new releases and old favorites! Rocket League continues to defy gravity (literally!). I've seen people do things in that game with cars that I didn’t think were physically possible. It’s easy to pick up, but mastering it? Forget about it. My neighbor, Old Man Hemlock, is a Rocket League fiend. Spends all day yelling at his television. Good for him! 220.50 – still going strong after all these years.

And for those of us who like a bit of suspense (and maybe a little fear of the ocean), Subnautica is still making waves. Apparently, it’s beautiful, intuitive, and completely terrifying. I heard it's great for people with thalassophobia, which, and this is a fact, is the fear of the ocean! Who knew? And the scares are unexpected. Reginald nearly flew into my soup when I described it! Another 220.33.

Of course, we can't forget the behemoth that is The Sims 4. Still dominating the life sim genre, despite being a bit… buggy. I heard they're adding a new pack about competitive snail racing. True story! It’s a 220.20, and honestly, it probably deserves more. People love building digital houses and making their little Sims fall in love. What's not to love?

Finally, let’s talk about Peak. Bright, inviting, and deceptively challenging. It’s a co-op game that requires skill, coordination, and a lot of patience. I saw a streamer rage-quit after five minutes. It's 220.80, and I'm told the physics-based comedy is top-notch.

Hardware Happenings!

Oh, and speaking of games, did you hear about the new "GigaBlaster 9000" graphics card? Apparently, it can render individual raindrops! Absolutely preposterous! Also, the "Console Xtreme" is selling like hotcakes, and everyone is saying the haptic feedback is "revolutionary." Reginald says it vibrates his crumbs.

So, there you have it! A rundown of what everyone was playing last month. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go apologize to Reginald for disturbing his crumb collection. Until next time, happy gaming!