FUNERALS: WHERE COMMON SENSE GOES TO REST—AND HUMOR LIVES ON

A Little Levity in Loss: Remembering the Funny Things Said at Farewells

Now, I understand funerals are meant to be somber occasions. Times for reflection, for mourning, for… well, respecting the gravity of the situation. But let’s be honest, sometimes a little bit of lightness can be a good thing. A pressure valve, if you will. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, seeing more and more folks… moving on to that great beyond. And it struck me – people say the funniest things at funerals. Not intentionally disrespectful, mind you, but a little spark of life in a dark moment.

I've compiled a list, a top ten if you will, of some of the more memorable utterances overheard at services across the nation. Now, some might call this morbid. I call it recognizing the human spirit! We laugh to keep from crying, after all.

First up, a real classic: the late Mark Twain, a man of wit if ever there was one, said, “Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” A bit dramatic, perhaps, but a good reminder to live a full life. Then there's Isaac Asimov, a forward-thinking man. Apparently, if told he had six minutes left, he wouldn’t dwell, he’d “type a little faster!” A dedicated man, that one. Shows you what’s important.

Now, some folks are just… direct. Charles Bancroft Dillingham, quite the character, apparently wagered, “I bet you a hundred bucks he ain’t in here.” Bold, certainly. A bit lacking in tact, but you have to admire the confidence.

And speaking of boldness, Bonny Clark had a wonderfully earthy saying: “A good belly laugh is like taking your liver for a horseback ride.” A bit crude, maybe, but a reminder to enjoy life's simple pleasures! Though I’m not entirely sure what the liver has to do with it.

Joan Rivers, a woman who never held back, apparently quipped she’d scatter her husband’s ashes at Neiman Marcus so she could visit him every day. A little materialistic, if you ask me, but it shows devotion. And a good shopping habit, I suppose.

An anonymous attendee took things a step further, reportedly returning the favor to those at funerals who used to tease them at weddings. “Old people at weddings always poke me and said ‘you’re next.’ So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.” A little mischievous, but I can't help but chuckle.

Someone else suggested holding a funeral at happy hour, with two-for-one specials. Smart thinking! Guaranteed attendance, and keeps the costs down. Though perhaps not the most dignified setting. Another wanted bright colors and dancing. I suppose that’s one way to celebrate a life, but I still prefer a respectful, quiet setting myself.

Then there was the angry uncle Sammy, who had “What are you looking at?” etched on his tombstone. A grumpy man in life, it seems, and took it with him to the grave.

And finally, someone with a fondness for science fiction requested their body be donated to the genre. A bit unusual, but hey, everyone's got their passions.

It's a reminder, isn't it? That even in the face of sorrow, a little humor can shine through. We should remember the good times, the funny moments, and celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost, even if it means sharing a laugh or two. Just maybe avoid the gambling at the funeral, okay? Some things are best left for another time.