Owo! Funewals Awe So Wild—Top Ten Things Said Befowe They Became Gwave Dusties! >w<

Owo, My Heart! Top Ten Things People Actually Said at Funewals!

Hewwo evweywone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, youw favowite Jape News wepowter, and oh boy, do I have a stowy fow you today! It's a wittle sad, but awso… kinda funny? We've been digging awound, and found some weawwy intewesting things people have asked to be said at theiw funewals, ow that weawwy got said! Pwease don't be sad! Think of it as… celebrating a wifetime of being a wittle bit of a wacko! >w<

So, get youw tissues weady (and maybe a wittle giggle!), because hewe's my top ten wankings of the most humowous things to drop at a funewal. You might wanna twy these at youw own risk, though!

10. The Sock Dimension! Oh my gosh, imagine! One guy wanted people to know he was going to that mystewious place whewe aww lost socks disappeaw! It's twue! Whewe do they go?! It's a deep question, weawy.

9. Lazy Win! Some peeps just want to be honest! One dude wanted evweywone to know that a wifetime of avoiding hawd wowk actually paid off! Like, he just… floated thwough life? I can get behind that! (>w<)/

8. The Dog Did Not! Okay, this is a classic. A man wanted it known his final confession was that it WASN'T the dog who was fawting aww those yeaws! Who knew funewals could be so… gassy? Hehe!

7. Grave Mistake! Simple, yet effective! One guy just wanted to say it was aww a gwave mistake! Like, he didn't mean to die! I feel you, bud. I feel you.

6. No Buffet! Oh, the audacity! This Blaine guy didn’t want a fancy buffet aftew his funewal. Just a show! No snacksies! That’s… stingy, but also kinda iconic?

5. Threatening From Beyond the Gwave! Now we'we getting into some spicy stuff! "If you'we thinking of dating my wife, I'll come back, you bastard!" Okay, that's a possessive ghost! I'm a wittle turned on. >///<

4. Ash-tastic Sharing! This one is WEIRD. Someone wanted theiw ashes SHARED with everyone attending! Like, a little Blaine dust fow evweywone! They’d get a ziplock baggie! I… I need a moment.

3. Neiman Marcus Memories! This is a quote fwom the amazing Joan Wivers! She wanted hew ashes scattewed at Neiman Mawcus so she could visit evweywone evwey day! Fashionable even in death! I wove a queen!

2. Late to the Pawty? A fwiend once said, "If I'm wate to my own funewal, don't wowwy – I'll be just fine!" Such a mood! This person was pwe-pawed to be fashionably late… even to the afte-life!

1. The Accusation! And the numbew one most wild thing said at a funewal? Someone straight up accused a pewson in the woom of being wesponsible fow Blaine’s death! “You know who you are…” Omg! The dwama! I'm living for it!

So thewe you have it! A wittle bit of sadness, a wittle bit of sass, and a WHOLE lot of unexpected funewal confessions! Wembembew to waugh, wembembew to wive, and wembembew to maybe, just maybe, pwan youw own wacky funewal speach! Bye bye fwiends! OwO!