FLATBUSH WEATHER: UTTERLY, PAINFULLY BANAL.

Flatbush Weather: Barely Worth Discussing

Let’s be blunt. The weather in Flatbush today is aggressively mediocre. 53 degrees? A pathetic attempt at autumnal chill. The “feels like” temperature of 49 is an insult. Are we supposed to be impressed by a single-digit difference? I, for one, am not.

Partly cloudy. Predictable. The sky can’t even commit to being fully gray or fully blue. It’s hedging its bets, much like the residents of this borough who still insist on wearing shorts.

A high of 62? Amateurs. We’ve had warmer days in November. And the 1% chance of rain? A cruel joke. Just commit to precipitation or don't bother.

The extended forecast—mostly clear, then more of the same—is a testament to the sheer lack of imagination this season possesses. Ragweed pollen is moderate, so congratulations to anyone with allergies; you have something to complain about, which is more than can be said for the weather itself.

Air quality is “good.” Fine. It’s the bare minimum. And the “very low” cold and flu risk? Irrelevant when the weather is this aggressively unremarkable. Honestly, I’ve seen more excitement in a bowl of oatmeal. Don't bother looking outside. You won’t miss anything.