PURPLE SKY MEANS SPACE SLUGS AND PLANKTON TAXIS—Gnomes Ate My Thermometer!

Is It Just Me, Or Is The Sky…Purple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley

Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? It’s…something. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of sunshine – you know, Vitamin D is crucial for optimal squirrel communication, a little known fact – and the sky…well, it wasn’t blue. Not exactly. It was…leaning towards purple. Like a really shy amethyst.

Now, Old Man Hemlock down the street, he says it’s a sign. A sign of what, I haven’t quite figured out. He mumbled something about the return of the Great Space Slug, which, frankly, sounds unpleasant. I personally think it’s just atmospheric refraction, you know, light bending and doing a little dance? Though, my Aunt Mildred swears it's due to the increased levels of glow-in-the-dark plankton migrating from the Mariana Trench. Apparently, they hitched a ride on the jet stream. Who knew the jet stream was a plankton taxi service?

Anyway, it’s not raining rain, if you get my drift. It’s more like…a shimmering mist. A sparkly mist! I swear I saw a tiny rainbow inside a single droplet. It’s probably just my eyes playing tricks on me. I did try to build a device to translate pigeon cooing into Shakespearean sonnets last week, so my optical nerves are a little…frayed.

The temperature? Oh, it’s…temperature-y. You know, pleasantly…air-like? I tried to take a reading with my specially calibrated banana thermometer, but the banana got eaten by a rogue garden gnome. Those gnomes are getting bolder, I tell ya!

So, yeah. Purple-ish sky, sparkly mist, temperature-y weather. If you see any Great Space Slugs, though, please let me know. I've always wanted to interview one. For science, obviously. And also, because they probably have fascinating stories.