A WEEK OF UTTER NONSENSE.

A Week of… Things. Honestly.

Let's just get this over with. The calendar is apparently overflowing with “special” days this week. As if we needed more manufactured reasons to feel vaguely obligated. Fine. Here's the rundown, and I’ll try to keep the eye-rolling to a minimum.

It began, predictably, with Wyoming and its “Veterans Welcome Home Day” and the entirely self-serving “Doctors’ Day” yesterday, March 30th. Alaska had “Seward’s Day” – a land deal, apparently, is cause for celebration. Delaware and West Virginia mourned (or…acknowledged?) Vietnam Veterans. Riveting.

Today, March 31st, we’re apparently meant to be visible if you’re transgender, and celebrate the legacy of César Chávez in a handful of states. Arizona threw in “Farmworkers Day” for good measure. Honestly, can we just pick a day and be supportive instead of needing a designated calendar slot?

April 1st. Yes, that day. April Fool's. As if the constant barrage of disappointments in modern life isn't enough, we now encourage deception. Clever. Then, just to add insult to injury, Passover Eve.

Things don’t improve. April 2nd brings Passover and Maundy Thursday, plus "World Autism Awareness Day" and Florida’s pointless “Pascua Florida Day”. A glut of religious observances and… awareness. Is everyone aware that I am profoundly irritated?

April 3rd? Good Friday, a state holiday in far too many places. I swear, the number of days off dedicated to religious observance is astounding.

April 4th is Holy Saturday, followed by the UN’s shockingly cheerful “Mine Awareness Day”. Because nothing says “festive” like landmines.

April 5th gives us “International Day of Conscience” – as if anyone cares – and Easter Sunday. More religious fervor. Honestly, the sheer volume is exhausting.

And finally, April 6th: “International Day of Sport,” “Easter Monday” (still?), and “National Tartan Day.” Tartan. Tartan. Really?

There. It’s all out there. A relentless parade of… things. Feel free to acknowledge them, ignore them, or actively resent them. I, for one, will be seeking a quiet corner and a strong beverage. Don’t bother me.