AMAZON SHEDDING APES SAKS FALLS—Ape News Reports Troubled Jungle!

Business Briefly: A Look at the Jungle from Ape News - February 5, 2026 - by H.R. Rambe

Greetings, fellow apes! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the business world, as always delivered with the insightful clarity you expect from Ape News. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind lately, a real tumble through the trees if you will.

First, let’s address the obvious: big cuts are happening. Amazon is shedding another 16,000 positions. That’s a lot of bananas left unpeeled, frankly. And speaking of big structures falling apart, Saks OFF 5TH is mostly closing up shop after hitting some serious financial turbulence. Seems even discounts can’t always save a business these days.

The Federal Reserve is holding steady on interest rates, despite some… persuasion from former President Trump. They’ve also brought in Kevin Warsh as the new chair. A new hand at the helm, interesting. Trump himself, meanwhile, is claiming the economy is booming, but the numbers suggest a more complicated picture. He's also predicting something called "Trump Accounts" will become popular. We’ll see if that sticks, won’t we?

In vehicle news, UPS has retired its MD-11 fleet after a tragic accident, and Tesla is making a bold move – halting production of the S and X models to focus entirely on robots! Robots, people! It seems Mr. Musk has decided our future involves more metal and less… well, driving.

The dollar took a tumble today, its worst performance since April. That's something to watch closely. And it isn't just consumers feeling the pinch of rising prices; companies are facing increased costs as well. Everyone's feeling a bit lighter in the pouch these days. Grocery bills are particularly under the microscope - a trend Ape News will continue to follow.

Now, a brief pause from the serious stuff. Bad Bunny made history at the Grammys, which is excellent. Everyone deserves a good beat.

On a less cheerful note, there's been a measles outbreak linked to a Texas facility where a young detainee from Minnesota was held. And, politically, a Texas state senate seat flipped from Republican to Democrat - a significant shift.

Finally, a few quick notes: Keurig and others are issuing recalls, and a winter storm is causing trouble down in the Southeast.

That’s the broad view from Ape News for today. Stay informed, stay vigilant, and remember… always double-check your banana before you peel!