Well, That’s…Something.

Carrot Top Announces Presidential Bid, Promises “Props for Progress”

Las Vegas, NV – August 13, 2025 – In a move that has…certainly gotten people talking, veteran comedian and prop comic Carrot Top announced today he will be seeking the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Speaking from a surprisingly subdued stage at his Las Vegas residency, Top – known for his energetic, prop-filled performances – pledged a campaign focused on “practical solutions and a little bit of fun.”

“Look, things are…complicated right now,” Top stated, carefully avoiding eye contact with the assembled press. “And honestly? I think people are tired of the same old political routine. They want someone who can…think outside the box. Or, you know, bring a box…filled with solutions.” He gestured vaguely towards a stack of what appeared to be oversized rubber chickens.

For over 25 years, Top – whose real name is Frank Caliendo – has entertained audiences with his unique brand of physical comedy. He’s known for incorporating topical humor into his act, having previously poked fun at politicians across the spectrum, from Sarah Palin to Barack Obama. While some critics haven't always understood his style, his long-running Las Vegas show is a testament to his professionalism and enduring appeal.

“I’ve been observing politics for a long time,” Top explained. “And I’ve noticed a lot of things could be…improved. We need to streamline things, make government more efficient. And sometimes, you just need a good inflatable hammer to get your point across.”

His campaign slogan, “Props for Progress,” reflects his commitment to bringing innovative – and potentially bewildering – solutions to the nation’s problems. Details of his policy platform remain…sparse. He did mention a plan involving a self-folding laundry machine and a universal remote control for all government agencies, but details were largely lost in a flurry of foam projectiles.

While some political analysts are dismissing his bid as a publicity stunt, others are acknowledging the current political climate, where unconventional candidates are gaining traction. It remains to be seen whether voters will embrace a candidate who promises to “prop” up the American dream, but one thing is certain: the 2024 presidential race just got a whole lot more…interesting.

Top is expected to announce his running mate and begin campaigning in earnest next week. His team has indicated that the announcement will involve a significant amount of confetti and possibly a live animal.