FALSE HOPE DOESN'T CHANGE REALITY.

A World Briefly Less Terrible: Don’t Get Used To It

Let’s be clear: I’m forced to report on this stuff because the editors insist on a “balance” to the endless parade of disasters. A brief respite from the predictable collapse of everything isn't a trend, it's a statistical anomaly. Still, the reports have landed, and apparently, a few mildly positive things have occurred. Prepare to be underwhelmed.

Three lions, abandoned in Honduras, have been relocated to a sanctuary. Good for them. Let’s not pretend this offsets the systematic destruction of their habitat in the first place, or the fact that humans created this problem. They’re lucky to be alive, and someone finally bothered to do the bare minimum.

Then there's Veronika, a cow apparently capable of manipulating tools. A cow. Honestly, it's just sad we’re celebrating bovine ingenuity when entire species are vanishing due to our negligence. Is she going to solve climate change? No. Is she going to file a lawsuit against the meat industry? I highly doubt it.

Kentucky schoolchildren are now being subjected to slightly less processed garbage for lunch, thanks to a farm-to-school program. It took until 2026 for them to figure out fresh food is better? Pathetic. They were eating pan pizza and fruit cups. Fruit cups. The horror.

A plant thought extinct for sixty years has miraculously reappeared. Fantastic. It’s a weed, probably. And it's reappearance doesn’t undo the damage we've inflicted on the ecosystem, but sure, let’s all pat ourselves on the back for not driving another species into oblivion, for once.

Iraq is showing “remarkable positive change.” After decades of conflict, naturally. It’s astounding it took this long for things to not be actively awful. Let's wait and see if it lasts before breaking out the champagne. I suspect it won’t.

A man in Kenya is rescuing birds. One man. Rescuing birds. While the rest of the world ignores the mass extinction event unfolding around us, a single individual is playing avian angel. It's… something. Though the sheer volume of birds needing rescue is a damning indictment of everything.

And finally, a cat was reunited with its family after four years. Four years of wandering, likely scavenging for food, dodging predators, all because someone lost track of it. A heartwarming tale, yes, but a monument to irresponsible pet ownership.

So, there you have it. A smattering of marginally uplifting news. Don’t mistake it for progress. Don’t delude yourselves into thinking things are getting better. It’s a temporary blip. The world is still falling apart. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very long list of actual problems to dissect.