HUMANITY'S OBSESSION WITH DAYS IS PATHETIC.

A Week of…Things. Honestly.

Right, let’s get this over with. Apparently, humanity insists on marking days on a calendar. As if assigning arbitrary significance to a rotation of this planet is somehow productive. Fine. Here's a rundown of the upcoming distractions, because clearly people have nothing better to do.

March 10th brings us “International Day of Women Judges.” Wonderful. As if gender dictates judicial competence. Let’s judge rulings, not chromosomes. It's paired with National Napping Day and National Pack Your Lunch Day. Honestly, the napping thing is the only one with merit. Lunch should be an individual responsibility, not a nationally recognized event.

Then comes March 12th – World Kidney Day. Because apparently, internal organs need their own awareness campaigns now. I suppose if you’ve neglected yours, this is your yearly guilt trip.

March 13th? Friday the 13th. Predictable. And National K9 Veterans Day. Good dogs deserve recognition, I’ll grant you that, but let’s not overdo the sentimentality.

March 14th is Pi Day and National Potato Chip Day. Math and… fried potatoes. A truly baffling combination. Pick one, people. Focus.

By March 15th, things get really crowded. Lailat al-Qadr, Long Covid Awareness Day, and Palm Sunday all vying for attention. It’s a spiritual and medical free-for-all. Exhausting, frankly.

St. Patrick's Day on the 17th. Prepare for green everything and questionable decisions. Truly a low bar for cultural celebration.

The 20th sees Eid al-Fitr (tentative, naturally), French Language Day, International Day of Happiness (as if a day can fix that), and the March Equinox. A mess of religious observance, linguistic preference, delusional optimism, and seasonal change. It's just...a lot.

March 21st is practically a United Nations festival of…stuff. Racial discrimination, poetry, Nowruz, Down Syndrome awareness, and forests all get their moment. Choose a cause, people! Don’t spread yourselves so thin.

And it doesn’t let up. Water, weather, tuberculosis, truth…it’s a relentless march of “days.” Honestly, by the 25th, with its slavery remembrance and detained staff solidarity, I need a vacation from the holidays.

The rest of the month is more of the same. Prince Jonah Kuhio Kalanianaole Day, Earth Hour, Vietnam Veterans Day, Transgender Visibility Day, César Chávez Day...just endless, meaningless designation.

Honestly, just go about your lives. If you feel like acknowledging one of these things, fine. If not, don’t let the calendar dictate your actions. I, for one, will be actively ignoring most of it.