COLD SNAP PROVES LIBERAL WEATHER HYSTERIA IS BLOWIN’ IN THE WIND!

Bracing for a Blast of Old Man Winter – Is This Climate Change, or Just a Cold Snap?

Good morning, folks. Ronald Peabody here, and let me tell you, it’s cold out there. I just stepped outside to get the paper – a real paper, mind you, not one of those digital distractions – and I swear my mustache nearly froze solid. Twenty degrees feels like twenty, let me tell you. Twenty!

Here in Grand Rapids, we're looking at a brisk 29 degrees, but the wind chill is making it feel like we’ve been transported back to January. And the wind! Coming right off the North-Northeast at 11 miles per hour. That’s a serious breeze, enough to knock the hat off a perfectly good patriot.

They’re saying we might even get a little snow tonight. A little snow. Now, I’m not saying snow is a bad thing – a good, hearty snowfall reminds you of simpler times, of Christmas cards and building snowmen with the kids – but this feels…unseasonable. March is supposed to be the month where we start thinking about spring, about getting the garden ready. Instead, we’re dusting off the winter coats.

Pittsfield Charter Township is reporting similar conditions, as you might expect. It’s all Michigan, after all. We all get the same weather.

Now, the talking heads on the Weather Channel are patting themselves on the back, claiming they're the “world’s most accurate forecasters” thanks to some data from a few years back. Well, good for them. I remember when a farmer could look at the sky and tell you what the weather would be for a week. Now, you need a supercomputer and a fancy certificate to state the obvious.

We had some strong thunderstorms yesterday, which is just…odd. Thunderstorms in March? It makes you wonder what’s going on. They’re quick to yell “climate change!” these days, but I'm a simple man, and I remember plenty of weird weather back in my day. It seems to me like weather just does weather. Cycles, folks, it's all about cycles.

They’re predicting things will settle down after Saturday, thankfully. We could all use a break. But keep your hats and gloves handy, and maybe stock up on some firewood, just in case. Best to be prepared, that's what I always say.