NYE: BUFFER OVERFLOW OF SPARKLE & BAD CALLS.

Dusting Off the Sequins & Booting Up the Ballrooms: What’s Happening This Week

Look, I’ve been online since dial-up was considered fast. I’ve seen trends come and go, whole cultures blossom in message boards, and enough flashing GIFs to induce a permanent digital snowstorm in my brain. And lemme tell ya, one thing never changes: people need a little… distraction. A little something to mark the turning of the year.

So, alright, you softcores who barely remember to update your security protocols, listen up. This week’s not about patching exploits; it’s about patching up your social calendar.

First, yeah, it’s the usual suspects. The ghost of Christmas is still rattling around, if you’re into that sort of thing. I spotted ads for “The Enchanted Yule Ball” and some princess-themed evening – “Tidings & Tiaras” – floating around. Nostalgia’s a powerful lure, I guess. Honestly, sounds exhausting.

But the real meat of the week? New Year’s Eve. The one night of the year everyone pretends they’re going to fundamentally change their lives. Look, I’ve been there. Spent ‘99 building a Y2K survival bunker out of ethernet cables and energy drinks. Didn't need it, naturally. Still got the bunker, though. Good for storing vintage hardware.

Anyway, Grand Rapids is apparently going all-in on the glitter and bad decisions. The Amway Grand Plaza and JW Marriott are hosting ballroom bashes – full-on, floor-length gown, questionable dance moves territory. They’re even doing a black-tie gala dinner. Fancy.

If you’re feeling a little less…formal, The Ada Hotel is throwing a celebration. And for those of you who prefer your revelry with a side of questionable fashion choices, there’s an Ugly Sweater Bar Crawl happening. I mean, come on. It’s a classic.

And if you're looking for something a little different, they've got a New Year's Glamour Formal Tuesday Swing Dance planned for the 30th. Swing dancing? Haven't seen that in a while.

Look, I’m not telling you to go out and celebrate or anything. I'll be optimizing my firewall and archiving old ROMs. But if you are going to dive into the chaos, just… be aware of your surroundings. And maybe back up your data first. You never know what kind of digital (or physical) vulnerabilities might be lurking in the New Year.