NO NUMBERS OR HURRICANES FOR BABIES!

Don't Call Your Baby That! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7)

Hi! I'm Jerome, and I write for Jape News! Today I learned about names. Like, what you can’t name your baby. It’s kinda weird, right? You think you can name your baby anything, but you can't!

My mom says picking a name is important. It's like, what everyone will call you forever! But some names are…not good.

In America, you can’t just put numbers in your baby’s name! Like, you can’t name them “3” or “@”. That’s silly! And in California, you can't use "III" because it looks like a number! My teacher, Mrs. Davis, says numbers are for counting, not names.

But it's not just America! Other places have rules too! In Iceland and Denmark, they have a list of okay names. If your name isn’t on the list, you need to ask if you can use it! That seems like a lot of work!

They won’t let you name your baby “Thor” in Portugal because it's not a Portuguese name. It's like, if I tried to name my goldfish “Elephant,” my dad would say no!

Some names are banned because they're mean or make people sad. Like, you definitely can’t name your baby “Hitler.” That's a really, REALLY bad name. They also don’t like “Aryan” for the same reason. My mom says names should be happy, not scary.

I read about a couple who tried to name their baby “Hitler”! Can you believe it?! That’s a super-duper bad idea!

They also said no to names like “Nutella” in France! My mom loves Nutella, but it’s yummy to eat, not a good name! And in New Zealand, you can’t name your baby “Prince” or “Royal” because that’s for…well, princes and royals!

Sometimes, they just think a name is silly. They didn’t let someone name their baby “Hurricane” or “Superman.” That’s because those are for superheroes, not real people!

My mom says you should think about if your baby will get made fun of. Like, they didn’t like a name that meant “Smelly Head” in Malaysia! That would be really embarrassing!

There were even some weird names people tried to use, like “Zzyzx.” That’s a town! And someone named their baby after a TV show called “Mad Men” and people didn’t like it.

It's good to be creative, but picking a name is a big job. You need to make sure it’s okay, and that it won’t make your baby sad or get them teased! So, don't call your baby anything silly or mean! Okay?