Strange Dreams & More Seafood—Everything Seems a Little Off Lately.

Locals Report Strange Dreams, Increased Seafood Consumption

By Leo Parks, Jape News Staff Writer

It’s been… a strange week, folks. And not just because of the pollen count, which honestly is rough this year. We’ve been getting reports from around the coastal areas – mainly Arkham, Massachusetts, but also a surprising number from Innsmouth, Maine – about some really unsettling dreams.

People are describing, well, a lot of tentacles. And a big… shape. Hard to describe, apparently. Mostly just feelings of overwhelming dread and, uh, not being alone in your own head. Dr. Armitage at Miskatonic University said they’re seeing a spike in patients reporting vivid nightmares, though he’s hesitant to link it to anything specific. He suggested maybe we’re all just stressed. Which, fair. It has been a stressful few years.

But that’s not all. Local fishmongers are reporting a massive surge in seafood purchases. Like, record-breaking. One guy, Old Man Hemlock down by the docks, told me people are buying up everything – squid, octopus, even eels! He said it’s “unnatural,” and that he hasn’t seen demand like this since… well, he didn’t want to say. Just gave me a weird look and went back to scaling fish.

Now, some folks online – you know how it is – are connecting this to the old stories. The legends. The… Cthulhu mythos. Apparently, this giant, squid-headed, winged thing is supposed to wake up when the stars are right and, well, things get bad. Really bad.

Honestly, it all sounds a bit far-fetched. But the dreams are concerning, and the seafood thing is… odd. I talked to Mrs. Gable, who lives near the water, and she said she keeps hearing chanting at night. Just a low murmur, carried on the wind. She thought it was her neighbors having a party, but she couldn’t quite make out what they were saying.

I tried to ask around about this “Cthulhu” thing, but most people just kinda waved me off. A few, though, got really quiet and started talking about a sunken city and ancient gods. One guy even started muttering something about “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.” I didn't ask what that meant. Seemed polite to just… move on.

Look, I’m not saying a giant squid monster is about to rise from the depths. But it might be a good idea to maybe… limit your octopus intake for a while? Just in case. And if you start having really weird dreams, maybe see a doctor. Or just, you know, try to get some extra sleep.