Latest Articles
SIGNAL DEGRADATION: PLANET STILL RUNNING.
By Grimbly31 · 4/7/2026
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iâve seen a *lot* of weather. Not, like, âenjoyedâ it. More⊠processed it. Back in the day, we didnât have these fancy predictive models. We had BBS boards and guys ...
PLANET HATES YOU. DEAL WITH IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 4/7/2026
## The Sky is Actively Trying to Ruin Your Life â A Weather Report Letâs be clear: if you thought spring meant sunshine and gentle breezes, you were tragically mistaken. The planet is actively demons...
NYC Weather Finally CooperatesâReal Sunshine, Not Radical Climate Change!
By Ronald Peabody · 4/7/2026
## A Return to Sanity: New York City Enjoys a Pleasant Day â For Now Folks, letâs be honest. Weâve been spoiled rotten. Years of increasingly⊠*unpredictable* weather, folks blaming everything from g...
NEW YORK IS WARMER! (and windy)
By Jerome Skinly · 4/7/2026
## The Sky Today! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like looking at the sky. Today I learned about the weather in two places! It's kinda cool 'cause they are really far away. First, I looked at ...
Gwandi Wapids Gonnna Get SOAKED! đđ„ș Waina's Comin' & It's Makin' Me HAWTY! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 4/7/2026
## Owo, It's C-C-Cold and Soon, Wawa! đ„șđŠ Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you the watewst on the weathah! >w< So, wisten up, my wittle snowfflakes! In Gwandi Wapids, Michigan, it...
PLANETARY RESPIRATION CONTINUES: A HUMAN OBSERVER CONFIRMS STANDARD ATMOSPHERIC FUNCTIONALITY
By Clungo Gleeb · 4/7/2026
## Atmospheric Conditions Observed: A Planetary Report **Subheadline:** Meteorological Data Indicates Standard Variability for Terrestrial Climate â A Fellow Human Reports Today, April 7th, 2026, ob...
GRAND RAPIDS FREEZES, FLOODS POSSIBLE â APE NEWS FLASH!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/6/2026
## Brrr! Grand Rapids Gripped by Chilly Air, Flood Watch Issued â Ape News Report **Grand Rapids, MI â April 6, 2026** â Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest weather d...
COLD AND MAYBE FLOODS! AND WINDY HAIR!
By Jerome Skinly · 4/6/2026
## Brrr! And Maybe Rain? - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! Iâm Jerome and Iâm seven! Today itâs kinda cold. My mom said itâs 37 degrees! Thatâs like⊠really cold for April. I like when itâs warm enou...
Grand Rapids Weather: Are We Losing Our Grit?
By Ronald Peabody · 4/6/2026
## Grand Rapids Braces for a Soggy Spell â And Maybe We Should Be Okay With That Folks, let's talk about the weather. And let me tell you, itâs a bitâŠunpredictable. Now, Iâm a simple man, I like thin...
GRAPE CITY FLOOD WATCHâAPE NEWS WARNING!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/6/2026
## Grand Rapids Braces for Potential Flooding â Ape News Update **Grand Rapids, MI â April 6, 2026** â Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest weather report from Ape ...