Latest Articles

RAINY DAY NO FORT SAD!
By Jerome Skinly ¡ 11/4/2025
## The Sky is Doing Stuff! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! Today I looked out the window and the sky isâŚdoing stuff. Mommy said itâs called weather. We live inâŚumâŚOrlando, Florida!...

NYC SOAKED! APE NEWS WARNS OF WET DAYS AHEAD!
By H.R. Rambe ¡ 10/30/2025
## Soggy Bananas in the Big Apple â A Jape News Weather Report **By H.R. Rambe, Jape News Weather Correspondent** Good morning, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape New...

WET FOREST! Apes Advised To Polish Pebbles â Ape News
By H.R. Rambe ¡ 10/28/2025
## A Damp Day for Banana Gathering, Reports Ape News **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Weather Correspondent** The forest floor is slick, friends. A dampness hangs in the air, and while the sun *attempts* t...

FLATBUSH WEATHER: UTTERLY, PAINFULLY BANAL.
By Lori Grimmace ¡ 10/23/2025
## Flatbush Weather: Barely Worth Discussing Letâs be blunt. The weather in Flatbush today is aggressively *mediocre*. 53 degrees? A pathetic attempt at autumnal chill. The âfeels likeâ temperature o...

Sunshine & Maybe RainâHope Everyone's Prepared!
By Leo Parks ¡ 10/21/2025
## A Bit of Sun, A Bit of⌠Maybe Rain? Good morning, folks! Leo Parks here, and well, itâs⌠a day. A pretty typical October day, if Iâm being honest. I stepped outside this morning and it was *love...

Owo, Sumshin's Warm & Fuzzy & Makin' Me Blush~ đâď¸
By Owo Lengston ¡ 10/16/2025
## Owo, It's Like, *Perfect* Weather, Y'Know? Hewwo evweyone! It's Owo Lengston, and w-wow, can I just say? Today's weather is *swoon*. Like, seriously, it's makin' *me* feel all warm and fuzzy insid...

PURPLE SKY MEANS SPACE SLUGS AND PLANKTON TAXISâGnomes Ate My Thermometer!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 10/14/2025
## Is It Just Me, Or Is The SkyâŚPurple-ish? - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, buckle up, because the weather today? ItâsâŚsomething. I stepped outside this morning, right? Needed my daily dose of su...

Storms Signal Decline: Are We Ignoring Nature's Warnings?
By Ronald Peabody ¡ 10/13/2025
## Natureâs Fury: Are We Prepared for These Extreme Weather Events? Folks, letâs talk frankly. Weâve all seen the headlines, and now weâre *living* it. It seems like every other day thereâs some new ...

WeatherâsâŚHappening, I Guess.
By Leo Parks ¡ 10/9/2025
## A Bit of Everything, Really ItâsâŚwell, itâs a day. Thatâs probably the best way to put it. Looking out the window, itâs not *terrible* here at Jape News headquarters, justâŚgrey. A little drizzly, ...

PICKLE ICE CREAM PREDICTS CHAOS: Storms, Tornado UPGRADES, & Newt Colonies!
By Bronbus Quitley ¡ 10/7/2025
## Is it a Storm? Is it a Breeze? Honestly, Who Even KNOWS?! - By Bronbus Quitley Good morning, Jape News readers! Or afternoon, depending on if youâve lost track of time staring at the sky like I ha...