BIRDS DO NOT FART LIKE YOU.

The Audacity of Assuming Avian Rear Emissions

Let's address this infantile obsession with bird “farts” once and for all. The internet, predictably, is awash with speculation, fuelled by people who clearly haven't spent five minutes considering avian anatomy. The question isn’t if birds produce gas – they absolutely do, as any basic understanding of digestion would reveal – it’s the frankly vulgar assumption they do so in a manner remotely comparable to a mammal.

The sheer ignorance is staggering. Do these people think birds possess the same digestive plumbing as we do? They do not. They have a cloaca, a single multi-purpose opening. This isn’t a sophisticated system designed for targeted gaseous expulsion; it’s a basic biological compromise. Gas isn’t propelled – it's… vented. A crucial distinction.

And let’s be clear: fermentation happens. Microbes are doing their work, breaking things down, and yes, that produces gas. To pretend birds are somehow exempt from basic biological processes is absurd. However, the quantities are minimal, and the means of release are…uncouth. Belching is common, frankly, and the cloaca handles the rest.

The myth that birds don't produce gas at all is equally ridiculous. It's a lazy assumption born of not observing nature properly. But the idea they're quietly unleashing silent-but-deadly bombs from their rear ends? Ludicrous.

Stop projecting your own bodily functions onto the avian world. They're birds, not miniature, feathered versions of yourselves. They have a different system, a different method, and frankly, a more dignified one than whatever you’re imagining. This whole obsession is just… beneath contempt.