BUSINESS: A COMPLETE AND UTTER DISASTER.

The Business World is a Dumpster Fire, and Everyone's Just Adding Fuel

Let’s not beat around the bush. The state of business is, frankly, pathetic. A collection of desperate grabs, tone-deaf statements, and predictable collapses. Honestly, if I didn’t have a deadline, I’d be outside, staring at a wall.

First, Denny’s. Denny’s. They’re going private. As if hiding from public scrutiny will magically improve lukewarm coffee and even lukewarm-er management. It won’t. It just means fewer people will witness the slow, greasy decline.

And then there’s the ongoing delusion peddled by the current administration. Trump, predictably, insists inflation isn’t impacting anyone. This is the same man who once claimed he understood economics because he “made a lot of money.” The stock market happens to be doing well despite him, not because of him. Don’t confuse luck with competence.

Speaking of grasping at straws, Starbucks is selling off chunks of its China business. Four billion dollars for a controlling stake? Translation: they’re realizing the Chinese market isn’t the endless gravy train they thought it was. A belated realization, naturally.

Let’s move onto the truly bizarre. The makers of Tylenol and Huggies are merging in a deal worth nearly fifty billion dollars. Fifty billion! Apparently, the logical next step for pain relief and diapers is…combined corporate synergy? It's a preposterous display of vanity projects and pointless consolidation.

The sheer stupidity continues. Shein, that monument to fast fashion and questionable ethics, is banning sex dolls after a nudge from France. A single threat and they comply? They should be ashamed. It's performative garbage.

Meanwhile, Fed Governor Lisa Cook finally opened her mouth. After being publicly lambasted by the President, of course. It’s always the women who have to justify their positions while the unqualified men run rampant.

On a slightly less depressing note, Jon Stewart is returning to The Daily Show. At least someone is acknowledging the utter absurdity of it all. It's a band-aid on a gaping wound, but I’ll take it.

And finally, Lukoil is dumping its international assets. Because of course Russia’s energy sector is imploding under the weight of sanctions. It’s not exactly breaking news.

Honestly, the entire situation is exhausting. A parade of short-sighted decisions, desperate measures, and blatant denial. Is anyone actually leading anything, or are we just watching a slow-motion train wreck? I, for one, am starting to feel very, very tired.