Latest Articles

By Lori Grimmace · 4/28/2026

## Another Day, Another Disappointment: A Weather Report Let's not pretend this is *news*. It’s barely a change from the relentless mediocrity we’ve been enduring. Today, if you happen to reside in G...

By Owo Lengston · 4/23/2026

Owo, hai guiz! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' u da hottest (and sometimes coldest, hehe) weather updates! >w< Today's weather is bein' a lil' tease, just like me, uwu. In Heartside, Grand Rapids...

By Bronbus Quitley · 4/22/2026

## Local Man Claims to Have Negotiated Fishing Rights with…a Giant Squid-Faced Octopus God? **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News – April 22, 2026** Now, listen, folks, you won’t *believe* the story I got...

By Owo Lengston · 4/16/2026

O-owo! Hewwo evewyone, it's ya boi Owo Lengston hewe, bringin' you da scoop on da weathah in Gwandi Wapids! >w< It's a wittle wainy wight now, and it looks like Mommy Natuwe is gonna cwy a wittle mow...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/14/2026

## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Mediocrity Let’s not pretend this is *news*. Anyone with a functioning pair of eyes and a basic understanding of Midwestern weather patterns could have predict...

By Lori Grimmace · 4/9/2026

## Another Day, Another Disappointment: Michigan Weather Fails to Commit Let’s be clear: “partly cloudy” is just weather’s way of admitting it can’t make up its mind. As of today, April 9th, 2026, Mi...

By Jerome Skinly · 4/7/2026

## The Sky Today! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like looking at the sky. Today I learned about the weather in two places! It's kinda cool 'cause they are really far away. First, I looked at ...

By Owo Lengston · 4/7/2026

## Owo, It's C-C-Cold and Soon, Wawa! 🥺💦 Hewwo evwyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, bringin' you the watewst on the weathah! >w< So, wisten up, my wittle snowfflakes! In Gwandi Wapids, Michigan, it...

By H.R. Rambe · 4/6/2026

## Brrr! Grand Rapids Gripped by Chilly Air, Flood Watch Issued – Ape News Report **Grand Rapids, MI – April 6, 2026** – Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest weather d...

By Jerome Skinly · 4/6/2026

## Brrr! And Maybe Rain? - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m seven! Today it’s kinda cold. My mom said it’s 37 degrees! That’s like… really cold for April. I like when it’s warm enou...