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PLANET SHAKESāSTORMS, STANDOFFS, AND OLD CASESāAPENEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 9/28/2025
## A World on Edge: From Storms to Stand-offs ā A Look at the Week Greetings, readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as always, courtesy of Ape News! This week, it f...

WORLD IS MESSY! NEED COOKIES!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/27/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! Iām Jerome and I try to tell you whatās going on in the world. It's kinda scary sometimes, but my mom says it's important to know. S...

WORLD IMPLOSION: PREDICTABLE. INFURIATING. UNSTOPPABLE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 9/26/2025
## A World on Fire, and Frankly, Itās Not Surprising Letās just state the obvious: the world is a mess. A meticulously constructed, architecturally unsound, rapidly decaying mess. And frankly, anyone...

WORLD IS CRAZY! PLUS FOOTBALL!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/18/2025
## Stuff is Happening Everywhere! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! Iām Jerome and I try to tell you whatās going on in the world. Itās kindaā¦a lot. First, thereās a big fight in a place called Gaza...

WORLD IS CRAZY! LOTS OF MAD PEOPLE!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/15/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! My mom reads the news and sometimes I listen. There's LOTS going on! It's kinda scary but also interesting....

WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 9/15/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Letās dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isnāt ācomplex.ā Itās spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...

World Unraveling: Chaos, Conflict, and the Collapse of Common Sense.
By Ronald Peabody Ā· 9/10/2025
## A World Spinning Faster, and Not Always in a Good Direction Folks, let's be frank. If you've been paying attention to the news lately ā and I commend you if you have, despite the constant barrage ...

SYSTEM OVERLOAD. PREPARE FOR ROLLBACK.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 9/1/2025
## Static & Signals: A Week of Echoes Look, Iāve been staring at screens since dial-up was *fast*. Iāve seen cycles. Boom, bust, panic, shrug. This week feels⦠different. Not *new*, not exactly. More...

Things Are⦠Happening, Which Is Good.
By Leo Parks Ā· 8/25/2025
## A Quiet Week, Mostly (August 25th, 2025) Itās⦠well, itās been a week. Not a *bad* week, thankfully. Just⦠a week. Things havenāt exactly been *calm*, but it hasnāt been⦠dramatic, either? Does th...

PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 8/12/2025
## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. Itās a troubling week, fra...