Latest Articles
Weather's...Kind Of All Over The Place, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/25/2025
## A Bit of Everything: Weather Update for September 25th Well, folks, itâs certainly aâŠday. Here in Grand Rapids, itâs currently 62 degrees and pretty cloudy, with the humidity feeling quite high at...
WARREN'S ARE BACK & MY CHIHUAHUA IS MORE TERRIFIED OF CITRUS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/25/2025
## Did They REALLY Need *Another* Conjuring? - A Review of *The Conjuring: Last Rites* Okay, folks, settle in, because Bronbus Quitley has SEEN things. Dark things. Specifically, Iâve seen *The Conju...
CENTRAL FLOODS EAST COAST FURYâAPE NEWS WARNS ALL!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/23/2025
## Central U.S. Drowning, East Coast Facing Fury â Ape News Weather Report Friends, primates, citizens! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News on this, September 23, 2025. And frankly...
MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS & TANGOING SEAWEEDâIS THE WEATHER PLAYING PRANKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025
## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! OrâŠis it good? Honestly, Iâm looking out my window and itâsâŠwell, itâs *...
It's Nice Out, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/18/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids Grand Rapids residents are enjoying a beautifully clear day! As of this afternoon, the temperature is a comfortable 63 degrees, though itâs expected to climb to a hi...
Owo! Wet butts & Hot Tummies & Buggy WadarâMother Natuwu is Playin'! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 9/16/2025
O-oh my gosh, hiiii everywun! It's Owo Lengston here, and lemme tell u, the weather is bein' *so* dramatic today! It's like Mother Nature is havin' a whole mood swing, uwu. F-first off, the Mid-Atlan...
WORLD MONEY IS SICK! SAVE THE COOKIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/16/2025
## Uh Oh! The World's Money is Getting Sick! Hi! I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! My teacher, Mrs. Gable, says itâs important to learn about stuff, even if it's kinda scary. And this is k...
Cardboard Rectangles and Temporal Shifts: A Fellow Human Examines the 2025 Magic: The Gathering Cycle
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/12/2025
## Cardboard Prophecies and the Shifting Sands of Play: A Dissection of the Magic: The Gathering Ecosystem **A comprehensive analysis of forthcoming releases, player speculation, and the ongoing evol...
GRAND RAPIDS EXPERIENCES PREDICTABLE THERMAL EXCHANGE: A FELLOW HUMAN DOCUMENTS THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/11/2025
## Grand Rapids Experiences Diurnal Temperature Fluctuation: A Report on Atmospheric Conditions **Local Meteorological Event Demonstrates Predictable, Yet Awe-Inspiring, Planetary Processes** **GRAN...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS INSULTINGLY MUNDANE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/9/2025
## Another Day, Another Mediocre Sky Grand Rapids is experiencingâŠweather. Let's just state that bluntly. 76 degrees. Partly cloudy. Is anyone genuinely *thrilled*? Apparently some are, judging by th...