Latest Articles

WORLD IS WILD!
By Jerome Skinly · 11/27/2025
## Stuff Happening All Over! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you about stuff that's happening in the world. It's kinda scary sometimes, but also inte...

WORLD DESCENDING INTO CHAOS: Weakness Invites Conflict!
By Ronald Peabody · 11/8/2025
## A World Unsettled: From Troubled Waters to Troubled Times It feels like we’re living in an era of constant disruption, doesn’t it? Turn on the news and it’s one crisis after another. And frankly, ...

PLANET SHAKES—STORMS, STANDOFFS, AND OLD CASES—APENEWS REPORT!
By H.R. Rambe · 9/28/2025
## A World on Edge: From Storms to Stand-offs – A Look at the Week Greetings, readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as always, courtesy of Ape News! This week, it f...

WORLD IS MESSY! NEED COOKIES!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/27/2025
## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to tell you what’s going on in the world. It's kinda scary sometimes, but my mom says it's important to know. S...

WORLD: UTTERLY, PREDICTABLY DOOMED.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/15/2025
## The World, As It Is: A Cesspool of Incompetence and Avoidable Tragedy Let’s dispense with the pleasantries. The state of the world isn’t “complex.” It’s spectacularly, depressingly *predictable*. ...

PLANET STRESSFUL: Ape News Reports Global Troubles!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/12/2025
## A World on Edge - Ape News Roundup - August 12, 2025 Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as reported by Ape News. It’s a troubling week, fra...

Gaza, Ukraine, & Wittle Boxews OH MY GOSH! Wold's a MESS & My Heawt is BWEAKIN'! sniffles & bats eyelashes
By Owo Lengston · 8/11/2025
uwu oh my gosh, hewwo evewyone! It's Owo Lengston hewe, and things awe... a wittle bit of a mess out thewe, nyah! Let's dive into what's been happenin' awound da wowwd, okay? *giggles* Fiwst, poor wi...