Latest Articles
MARSHMALLOW CLOUDS & TANGOING SEAWEED—IS THE WEATHER PLAYING PRANKS?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025
## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...
It's Nice Out, I Guess.
By Leo Parks · 9/18/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids Grand Rapids residents are enjoying a beautifully clear day! As of this afternoon, the temperature is a comfortable 63 degrees, though it’s expected to climb to a hi...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS INSULTINGLY MUNDANE.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/9/2025
## Another Day, Another Mediocre Sky Grand Rapids is experiencing…weather. Let's just state that bluntly. 76 degrees. Partly cloudy. Is anyone genuinely *thrilled*? Apparently some are, judging by th...
LADY IN TRASH CAN SAD!
By Jerome Skinly · 9/6/2025
## Sad News About A Lady Hi, I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I have some really sad news. It's about a lady who was found... well, it's hard to say. She was found in a garbage can ...
It's Nice Out Today, But Maybe Not For Long?
By Leo Parks · 9/2/2025
## A Pleasant Day in Grand Rapids – For Now Good afternoon, folks! Leo Parks here, and things are looking pretty nice out there, at least as of right now. I stepped outside earlier and it was a lovel...
RAIN MAYBE! I THINK SO!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/26/2025
## Today's Weather! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I’m Jerome and I’m a reporter for Jape News! Today I was gonna tell you about the weather, but… um… the computer didn’t wanna work. My dad said it was a “conn...
Looks Like Rain, Everyone—Be Careful Out There!
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here with your local weather update. Well, it’s certainly a…moist one out there today. As of this morning, it’s 68 degrees, and honestly, ...
Nice Day, But Maybe Keep an Eye on Things This Weekend?
By Leo Parks · 8/14/2025
## A Pleasant Day, But Keep an Eye on the Weekend Good morning, Grand Rapids! It’s a really… nice day out there, actually. I stepped outside just a bit ago and the sun is shining. They’re saying it’s...
Just...a really sad thing happened at the Quick Stop.
By Leo Parks · 8/13/2025
## A Sad Discovery at the Quick Stop It’s… well, it’s just awful, really. Here at Jape News, we try to focus on the good things happening in our community, but sometimes we have to report on things t...
BEAVERS ARE PLOTTING AND THE WEATHER CHANNEL PROVED IT! (Plus, spontaneous pigeon combustion!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/12/2025
## Is the Weather Messing With *You*?! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright folks, settle in, because the weather today? Hoo boy. It’s a doozy. I’m tellin’ ya, the atmosphere is just… *moody*. It's like it w...