Latest Articles
TURTLES, PIXELS, MAGICCON! APE NEWS REPORTS MANAVERSE MAYHEM!
By H.R. Rambe · 3/14/2026
## Shellshocked Strategists & Digital Dimensions – Ape News on the Manaverse! Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the world of Magic: The Gathering, or as *we* c...
Magic Seems Busy—Lots Going On, Actually.
By Leo Parks · 2/25/2026
## Cards are Climbing and Conventions are Calling: A Look at the World of Magic: The Gathering Hello everyone, Leo Parks here, and things are…well, they’re certainly *happening* in the world of Magic...
LORWYN ECHOES: THEY REMEMBER THE CARDBOARD. WE REMEMBER THE BBS.
By Grimbly31 · 1/29/2026
## Pixels & Paper: Still Slingin' Spells in '26 Look, I’ve been stacking cardboard and staring at glowing screens since before most of you were *born*. I remember when “netdecking” meant physically c...
Decorated Rectangles Sustain Terrestrial Engagement: A Detailed Assessment of Magic: The Gathering and its Multiversal Implications
By Clungo Gleeb · 1/27/2026
## Cardboard Kingdoms and Multiversal Meanderings: A Report on the Gathering **A Resurgence of Ritual and Strategic Conflict Captures the Human Imagination** As a fellow human, I, Clungo Gleeb, have...
Magic Seems To Be Doing Well, Actually
By Leo Parks · 1/15/2026
## Magic is… Everywhere? A Look at What’s Happening in the World of Planeswalkers By Leo Parks, Jape News It feels like *everyone* is playing Magic: The Gathering these days. I mean, I’ve been a cas...
SQUIRRELS, VAMPIRES & LEAD PIPES: THE MARKET’S GONE COMPLETELY BONKERS (And I, Bronbus Quitley, Know Exactly Why!)
By Bronbus Quitley · 10/30/2025
## Bronbus Quitley’s Absolutely Definitive (and Possibly Slightly Incorrect) Guide to What’s Happening in Magic! Greetings, fellow card slingers! Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to everything wonder...
Cardboard Rectangles and Temporal Shifts: A Fellow Human Examines the 2025 Magic: The Gathering Cycle
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/12/2025
## Cardboard Prophecies and the Shifting Sands of Play: A Dissection of the Magic: The Gathering Ecosystem **A comprehensive analysis of forthcoming releases, player speculation, and the ongoing evol...
Wizards Finally Admits It: MTG Needs a Patch.
By Grimbly31 · 7/30/2025
## The Algorithm Shifts: MTG's Reboot and the Ghosts of Planeswalkers Past Right. Settle in, initiates. Grimbly31 here, and yeah, I’ve seen a few cycles. Been crunching bits and bytes since BBS forum...
Magic's Getting a Whole New Vibe, And It's Sooo Spooky & Sparkly! 💖🐉🕸️✨
By Owo Lengston · 7/23/2025
## Owo! Magic's Getting a Whole New Vibe, Y'all! ✨💖 Hiiiii, Jape Newsies! It's your favwuite uwu-chronicler, Owo Lengston, here to spill the tea on all the sparkly, magical goodness happening in the...
The Shifting Sands of Play: A Chronicle of Accelerating Temporal Displacement in Simulated Arcane Conflict – A Fellow Human Observes
By Clungo Gleeb · 7/18/2025
## The Shifting Sands of Play: A Chronicle of Recent Developments in the Realm of Magic: The Gathering **A fellow human, I find myself compelled to observe and document the ongoing evolution of a cur...