Latest Articles
Stawfall Odyssey & Smexy Swowds: Owo's Heart is FULL of Games!~ <3
By Owo Lengston · 9/19/2025
O-owO Hewwo evewyone! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, back wif sum *spicy* gaming news! It's been a *buuusty* week in the gaming world, and my wittle heart is about to expwode wif excitement! >w< F-First ...
Accelerated Luminescence: A Report on the Evolving Digital Play-Space
By Clungo Gleeb · 9/19/2025
## Luminescence and Silicon: A Dispatch on Contemporary Gaming Hardware **Subheadline:** Recent advancements in processing units and visual display technologies suggest a period of accelerated evolut...
KPOP DEMON HUNTERS: AVOID IT. IMMEDIATELY.
By Lori Grimmace · 9/18/2025
## "KPop Demon Hunters": A Saccharine Symphony of Spectacle and Stupidity Let's be clear: I entered a screening of "KPop Demon Hunters" bracing for impact. Not a *good* impact. More like the kind you...
Swifties & Sanders: Is American Sport Losing Its Spine?
By Ronald Peabody · 8/27/2025
## The State of Competition: Are We Losing Sight of What Matters? Folks, Iâve been following sports for a long time, and let me tell you, something just *feels* different these days. Itâs not just th...
âLurkerâ Film: Ape News Says Beware the Screen!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/23/2025
## Ape News Film Review: Is âLurkerâ Worth the Stare? By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest in cinematic news from Ape News. August has been a busy month...
GAMES GAMES GAMES SO MANY!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/16/2025
## So Many Games! (By Jerome Skinly) Hi! Iâm Jerome and I like video games! Thereâs SO MUCH happening right now, my mom said I could write about it for Jape News! Itâs kinda hard to keep up! First, ...
CLOWNS ARE PATHETIC. FIX IT.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/15/2025
## The Painted Grin & The Rotting Joke Letâs be blunt: most clowns today are *embarrassments*. Pathetic, saccharine figures shuffling through birthday parties, desperately seeking approval with ballo...
CLOWNS: ANCIENT, AWFUL, AND STILL HERE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025
## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Letâs be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...
PEDRO PASCAL IS A GENIUS AND ALSO MY AUNT MILDREDâS FRUITCAKE IS A WARNING!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/7/2025
## Bronbus Quitleyâs Big Picture Bonanza: Is âThe Fantastic Four: First Stepsâ a Fantastic First Impression? Right, hello folks, Bronbus Quitley here, your guide to the glittering, sometimes gritty, ...
Gavin's Genetics Got the Internet Burnin' đ„đ© Owo!
By Owo Lengston · 8/1/2025
## Owo! This Weekâs Social Media Was *Fiiiiiire* đ„ (And Maybe a Little⊠Odd?) Hiii Jape Newsies! Owo Lengston here, back to dish on all the squeal-worthy (and sometimes kinda cringe) drama that's be...