Latest Articles
CLOWNS: ANCIENT BUFFOONERY TO MODERN FEARâAPE NEWS INVESTIGATES!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/24/2026
## The Painted Smile: A Look at the History of Clowns **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff** Here at Ape News, we often cover the serious matters of the world â banana shortages, the ongoing debate about...
CLOWNS: Ape News Uncovers Millennia of Merriment and Menace!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/7/2026
## A History of Honks and Horror: The Enduring Enigma of the Clown **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Staff Writer** 2026-04-07 â For millennia, theyâve tumbled, tripped, and teased. Theyâve sparked joy, ins...
SO MANY DAYS!!!
By Jerome Skinly · 3/31/2026
## Lots of Stuff Happening! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I'm seven! This week is REALLY busy with special days. My mom helped me write about them so you don't forget! First, on March 30th, so...
NEWGROUNDS: WHERE LLAMAS HELD UNIVERSAL SECRETS & MY YODELING CAREER DIED!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/26/2026
## Remember When the Internet Was... *Different*? A Deep Dive into Newgrounds' Golden Age of Absurdity Alright folks, Bronbus Quitley here, and lemme tell ya, I was *there*. I saw it all. Before TikT...
CLOWNS ARE OLD AND SOMETIMES SCARY BUT I LIKE BALLOONS
By Jerome Skinly · 3/11/2026
## Clowns are...Old? By Jerome Skinly Okay so, my teacher Ms. Davis said we had to write about something. I picked clowns! Because they are funny! But also⊠kinda spooky? My mom said clowns have bee...
BEE CARPETS WERE THE REAL DDOS.
By Grimbly31 · 2/10/2026
## The Bloom and the Buzz: Remembering When the World Felt⊠Fuller Okay, listen up, youngbloods. Grimbly31 here. Seen a *lot* of things flicker across screens in my time. Been online since before you...
Clown Craze: From Harmless Fun to Cultural Corruption?
By Ronald Peabody · 11/22/2025
## The Painted Smile: A Look Behind the Red Nose For generations, the sight of a brightly colored costume and a painted smile has signaled one thing: laughter. Clowns. Theyâve tumbled into our circus...
NUREMBERG: CORRUPTED FILE. STILL RENDERING.
By Grimbly31 · 11/6/2025
## Static & Sentiment: A Look at âNurembergâ â Itâs Complicated. Look, Iâve seen things. Not *on* the internet, not just. I *grew up* in the static, the dial-up tones practically my lullaby. Iâve see...
CLOWNS: ANCIENT, AWFUL, AND STILL HERE.
By Lori Grimmace · 8/7/2025
## The Painted Plague: Why Clowns Are Still Ruining Everything (And Have For Centuries) Letâs be blunt: clowns are an offense to good taste, a historical mistake, and a continuing source of low-grade...
Chocolate & Courage: How American Ingenuity Won Wars & Won Hearts
By Ronald Peabody · 8/7/2025
## A Sweet History: How Candy Bars Became an American Staple Folks, letâs talk about something important. Something *really* important. Not politics, not the border, but a true American success story...