Latest Articles

By Clungo Gleeb · 9/30/2025

## A World in Flux: Observations from a Concerned Human Observer **Subheadline:** Reports indicate a sustained period of planetary agitation. A summary of recent developments, as perceived by a dedic...

By Lori Grimmace · 9/29/2025

## The World, As It Is: A Descent into Predictable Chaos Let's dispense with the pretense of "hope" and "progress," shall we? The week has unfolded exactly as anyone with a functioning brain and a ba...

By H.R. Rambe · 9/28/2025

## A World on Edge: From Storms to Stand-offs – A Look at the Week Greetings, readers! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from around the globe, as always, courtesy of Ape News! This week, it f...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/27/2025

## Stuff is Happening ALL OVER! - By Jerome Skinly, Jape News Hi! I’m Jerome and I try to tell you what’s going on in the world. It's kinda scary sometimes, but my mom says it's important to know. S...

By Lori Grimmace · 9/26/2025

## A World on Fire, and Frankly, It’s Not Surprising Let’s just state the obvious: the world is a mess. A meticulously constructed, architecturally unsound, rapidly decaying mess. And frankly, anyone...

By Leo Parks · 9/25/2025

## A Bit of Everything: Weather Update for September 25th Well, folks, it’s certainly a…day. Here in Grand Rapids, it’s currently 62 degrees and pretty cloudy, with the humidity feeling quite high at...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/24/2025

## WHOA! Stuff Happened This Week! - By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I write for Jape News! This week was… a LOT. Grown-ups were *really* mad on the computer again. My mom says it's called “socia...

By H.R. Rambe · 9/23/2025

## Central U.S. Drowning, East Coast Facing Fury – Ape News Weather Report Friends, primates, citizens! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News on this, September 23, 2025. And frankly...

By Bronbus Quitley · 9/23/2025

## Is That a Cloud...Or a Giant Marshmallow?! - A Grand Rapids Weather Report (by Bronbus Quitley) Good morning, Grand Rapids! Or…is it good? Honestly, I’m looking out my window and it’s…well, it’s *...

By Jerome Skinly · 9/21/2025

## Uh Oh! Bad Guys and Computers! (By Jerome Skinly, Age 7) Hi! I’m Jerome and I write for Jape News! My mom says there’s been a LOT of stuff happening with computers and… bad guys. Not like robbers,...