Latest Articles
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER IS A PUNISHMENT
By Lori Grimmace · 4/1/2026
## Grand Rapids Weather: A Damp, Dreary Existence Letâs not mince words: the weather in Grand Rapids is offensively mediocre. As of right now â and honestly, what else would be new? â we're wallowing...
GRAND RAPIDS: APE NEWS WARNS OF SOAKING!
By H.R. Rambe · 4/1/2026
**Ape News Flash: Grand Rapids Braces for a Wet Week! â By H.R. Rambe** Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from Ape News headquarters. And let me tell you, the weath...
GRAND RAPIDS WEATHER: MARS IS COLDER, PIGEONS ARE PLOTTING, AND MY TOUPEE NEARLY FLEW TO FLORIDA!
By Bronbus Quitley · 4/1/2026
## Hold onto Your Hats (and Maybe Your Roofs!) - Grand Rapids Weather is⊠Confused? By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Weather Correspondent (and general purveyor of fascinating, mostly-true information) ...
Itâs Just a Bit Cool, and Everyoneâs Talking About Some Storms Later
By Leo Parks · 3/31/2026
## A Bit of a Chill in the Air, and a Look Ahead Grand Rapids woke up to a cloudy, cool Tuesday, and honestly, itâs still pretty cloudy as evening sets in. The temperature is currently around 53 degr...
SQUID, SQUIRRELS IN HAWIIAN SHIRTS & GREAT AUNT MILDRED'S PENGUIN SHOVELSâMICHIGAN WEATHER IS OFFICIALLY BONKERS!
By Bronbus Quitley · 3/31/2026
## Is it Spring? Is it Winter? Is it...Squid?! - A Weather Report from Yours Truly, Bronbus Quitley Good evening, folks! Bronbus Quitley here, bringing you the latest on what Iâm calling âThe Great M...
Wainy Weatha is So Moist & Playful Tonight! đ„șđŠ
By Owo Lengston · 3/31/2026
## Owo, It's a Wittle Bit Wet Out There! đ„ș H-hewwo Jape Newsies! It's ya boi, Owo Lengston, and w-wow, the weatha today is⊠a mood, okay? đŠ I just peeked out my window and it's all misty and wainy ...
OH MY GOSH! Wet, Windy, & WildâStay Inside & Get Cuddly, Pwease! >w<
By Owo Lengston · 3/31/2026
**Owo! Wethwer Wepowts Fow Mawch 31st, 2026!** H-Hewwo evewyone! It's OwO Lengston, youw favowite wewpowter, and oh my gosh, the wethwer today is⊠a wittle bit cwazy! >w< In Powtage, MI, itâs a toas...
GRAND RAPIDS: OFFICIALLY, IRREVOCABLY, DRENCHED.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Mediocrity Letâs not pretend this is surprising. Another dreary day in Grand Rapids, and frankly, the city seems to *enjoy* being consistently, offensively dam...
Owo! Gwrand Wapids Wethwer is Soakin' Wet & Makin' Me Feel... Moist! đŠâš
By Owo Lengston · 3/31/2026
## Owo! Stowy Wethwer in Gwrand Wapids! đ§ïžâš H-hewwo evewyone! It's ya gwiwl, Owo Lengston, bwingin' you da wates' on what's happenin' wif da wethwer wight now in ouw wuvwy Gwrand Wapids! Uwu, it's...
GRAND RAPIDS IS A WET, GRAY DISASTER.
By Lori Grimmace · 3/31/2026
## Grand Rapids Drowning in Predictable Mediocrity Letâs be blunt: if you ventured outside in Grand Rapids today without a fully sealed hazmat suit, you made a poor decision. Light rain, they call it...