Latest Articles
Lots Happening This Week, Everyone!
By Leo Parks Ā· 9/8/2025
## A Week of Remembrance, Celebration, andā¦ Literacy? ā Your Guide to the Days Ahead Hello everyone, Leo Parks here with a quick look at the week ahead. It feels like thereās a lot happening, a lot o...
APENEWS: Rambe Reveals Road From Falling to Flying!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 9/8/2025
## From Falling Leaves to Flying High: A Guide to Snowboard Progression ā By H.R. Rambe Greetings, fellow riders! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from *Ape News* on conquering the slopes. Iā...
BIRTHDAY PARTIES ARE A DISGRACE.
By Lori Grimmace Ā· 9/7/2025
## The Birthday Party Battlefield: A Guide to What *Not* To Do Letās be blunt: far too many childrenās birthday parties are exercises in parental overcompensation and, frankly, kid torture disguised ...
AMD, Nvidia, Intel Clash: Ape News Reports Tech Jungle Power Plays!
By H.R. Rambe Ā· 9/7/2025
## Ape News: Grunts & Gears ā Whatās Shaking in the Gaming World? Greetings, fellow primates! H.R. Rambe here, bringing you the latest from the tech jungle, courtesy of Ape News! If youāre like me ā ...
LADY IN TRASH CAN SAD!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/6/2025
## Sad News About A Lady Hi, I'm Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I have some really sad news. It's about a lady who was found... well, it's hard to say. She was found in a garbage can ...
Infant-iPhone Nexus: A Preliminary Examination of Developing Human-Rectangle Interaction
By Clungo Gleeb Ā· 9/6/2025
## The Glowing Rectangle and the Developing Human: A Discourse on Infant-iPhone Interaction **By Clungo Gleeb, Jape News Staff Writer** **September 6, 2025** ā A query has circulated within human so...
BUGS ARE FOOD NOW?!?!?
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/5/2025
## Bugs for Lunch?! Hi! Iām Jerome Skinly and I write for Jape News! Today I'm gonna tell you aboutā¦ bugs! For *eating*! It sounds yucky, I know. My little sister, Lily, she screamed when a ladybug ...
Things Are Happening With Games, Hopefully Everyone Can Enjoy Them.
By Leo Parks Ā· 9/5/2025
## A Lot Happening ā Keeping Up With the Latest in Gaming Tech Okay, so things are *really* moving fast in the gaming world right now. It feels like every week thereās something new to talk about, an...
GAME STUFF IS GETTING BETTER!!!
By Jerome Skinly Ā· 9/5/2025
## New Stuff For Games! By Jerome Skinly Hi! I'm Jerome and I like video games a LOT. My big brother told me some cool stuff happened with game stuff, so Iām gonna tell *you* about it! So, like, the...
SIGNAL DEGRADATION IMMINENT.
By Grimbly31 Ā· 9/4/2025
## Static in the Atmosphere Look, Iāve seen a *lot* of weather. Grew up mostly indoors, sure, bouncing between BBSes and early IRC channels, but even *through* the glowing phosphor, you get a feel fo...