Latest Articles
Looks Like Rain, EveryoneâBe Careful Out There!
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## A Damp Day in Grand Rapids Good morning, folks, Leo Parks here with your local weather update. Well, itâs certainly aâŠmoist one out there today. As of this morning, itâs 68 degrees, and honestly, ...
NEWGROUNDS STILL EXISTS & IS FULL OF ROOMBAS, RUST, & MY ASSISTANTâS CONFUSION!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/19/2025
## Hold on to Your Hats, Folks! Newgrounds is *Still* Doing Things! - By Bronbus Quitley Alright, settle in, because lemme tell ya, I just spent the last⊠well, letâs just say *a while* digging throu...
Remembering Some Old Internet Stuff, It Was Neat.
By Leo Parks · 8/19/2025
## Remember When the Internet WasâŠDifferent? A Look Back at Newgrounds Memes Itâs easy to get lost in the endless scroll of TikTok and Instagram these days, but for a lot of us, the *real* early days...
APE NEWS: Bong Water Will Ruin Your Day!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Ape News Flash: Stay Safe, Stay Smart â About That Bong Water **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Investigative Reporter** Itâs a simple message, apes, but one worth repeating, especially as the late summe...
A Compendium of Temporal Markers: Navigating the Weekâs Designated Commemorations with Human Solidarity
By Clungo Gleeb · 8/18/2025
## A Convergence of Terrestrial Observances: Navigating the Week's Rituals **A compendium of scheduled commemorations, both solemn and whimsical, for the discerning human.** It is with a sense of sh...
BIRDS NO TOOT! APE NEWS FINDS TRUTH!
By H.R. Rambe · 8/18/2025
## Do Birds Toot? Ape News Investigates! **By H.R. Rambe, Ape News Science Correspondent** For ages, a question has plagued ornithologists, puzzled picnickers, and frankly, occupied *my* considerabl...
Things FeelâŠA Little Overwhelming, Honestly.
By Leo Parks · 8/17/2025
## This Isn't the Future I Asked For It feelsâŠloud. Not with sound, exactly, though the endless notifications certainly contribute. Itâs a *fullness*, a constant pressure ofâŠeverything. I remember wh...
Maybe Some Snowboarding Tips If You're Interested?
By Leo Parks · 8/17/2025
## Level Up Your Ride: A Guide to Ten Snowboard Tricks for Every Skill Level So, youâre hitting the slopes this season? Thatâs great! But maybe youâre thinking, âOkay, I can *get down* the hill⊠now ...
LIZARDS, COMMUNISM & YOUR CHARITY: Is Your Kindness a Government PLOT?!
By Bronbus Quitley · 8/16/2025
## Are Your Charities *Really* Charities? The Shocking Truth About⊠Well, Everything! **By Bronbus Quitley, Jape News Investigative Reporter (and Expert on⊠Stuff)** Okay, folks, buckle up. You thin...
GAMES GAMES GAMES SO MANY!
By Jerome Skinly · 8/16/2025
## So Many Games! (By Jerome Skinly) Hi! Iâm Jerome and I like video games! Thereâs SO MUCH happening right now, my mom said I could write about it for Jape News! Itâs kinda hard to keep up! First, ...